I am planning a destination wedding in St. Lucia next spring. Because of the high cost and long trip it will be only our parents and my sister and her boyfriend. The original plan was to do the destination wedding and then hold a picinic/ reception in a local park when we return. However, my mother feeld strongly about us being married in a chuch and many of my relatives ( who we are close with) want to be involved and cannot afford the trip. We do not want to invite people to St. Lucia knowing some can afford it and some cannot. The solution that has been proposed is get "legally" married in St. lucia and to have a "mock wedding" or a "blessing of the marrige by the chuch" in our local church before the picnic/ reception. It seems the only solution that makes everyone happy. It will give us our dream wedding while keeping our family happy as well. What is the etiquette on holding thi type of event? Is it appropopriate to hold this type of ceremony? How should the invitations be worded?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 20, 2007, 9:30 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1017 views)
Re: [jms307] Destination wedding and reception
[In reply to]
A mock wedding isn't appropriate since you are already married. Plus, using the word "mock" in conjunction with a special ceremony such as a wedding just doesn't seem right. I imagine it wouldn't seem right to your guests either.
However, a blessing of your marriage is acceptable. You should note that this is not a wedding and should not appear as one. Speak to your clergy person about how the ceremony is done in your church.
If having the blessing you would word the invitations very informally.
Mr and Mrs NewCouple
invite you to join us for the blessing of our marriage
time, place, etc
Picnic reception to follow Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 20, 2007, 12:25 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1010 views)
Re: [jms307] Destination wedding and reception
[In reply to]
I agree that you could have your marriage blessed upon your arrival. But, please note that many still feel that this is odd. You just married and now you are standing reaffirming those vows so soon. Yes, it is a blessing of your marriage, but it may feel odd to your guest. Plus, this cannot appear to be a wedding--in any way. A wedding is a gift giving event, while a vow renewal and blessing of your marriage is not. And, the blessing of your marriage is supposed to be a small family affair.
Please read more about vow renewal etiquette. These 'rules' are the same for the blessing of your marriage.
Finally, your situation is not much different than any other wedding. We plan the affair we can afford and want. We can't always invite all of the guests we want to because of the cost or in your case the distance. This is common.
In your case, it would be much better to only host the reception with a video of your wedding playing the entire time. Even though it is outside, you could play it against something solid.
Please remember if you are hosting a picnic reception, you are expected to provide the entire picnic. It cannot be a pot luck.
Destination wedding and reception
