Destination wedding costs for attendants and guests
I am a MOH for one of my best friends and am very happy to have that role. The wedding is the first for the groom and the second for my friend, the bride. He is very excited to "do it all up" as it is his first wedding and she wants to give him that full experience (and she loves a great planned party). The wedding is in Spain with 4 attendants on each side and approximately 30 guests expected. There will be a second ceremony and reception here to legalize the marriage and celebrate with those who can not travel.
So here comes the concerns...I hope you can clarify a few.
The guests and attendants have been offered a accommodation which they all pay for. Now maid service, car rental, extra chef services, etc are being quoted and everyone is being asked if they want to participate (now emailed in capital letters because responses have been few and slow)
These potential costs are all on top of flight. For the bridesmaids it is also on top of a Bridesmaids dress @ $600. (I knew that the bride could not pay for them but another attendant did not -she was shocked and not really happy about it. we both didnt know they would be that expensive)
(The bride has also given me a large list for bridal shower guests despite I know many of them attended a shower for her first wedding 8 years ago.)
I know Im getting financially stretched by this event (the first MOH bowed out because of the expenses and the another attendant is pretty upset about the dress cost) I imagine other guests are cost concerned too.
I would like to support the bride in her wedding as well as proper etiquette. I am prepared to have a conversation with her.
Please, can you advise me on any points I could make. (Should attendants or guests expect any other costs to be absorbed for them? I have noted the 2 night accommodation and shower and destination gift giving advice)
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 11, 2008, 5:31 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Destination wedding costs for attendants and guests
[In reply to]
Dear MOH,
It seems that you know that she is responsible for attendants' lodging for at least two days. She isn't responsible for any of the other services you mention though. The dress cost was a bit high, but all of you have the right to balk and decide if you want to go forward with her decision, especially since you are expected to pay for the dress and other expenses.
The shower is optional. She may give you a list, but you decide on the amount you wish to host, if any. All should be attending the wedding--max 35 guests. None of the guests who gave for her first shower are obligated to give her a gift this time. So, it may be best to host a gift-less shower, which is more polite these days anyway.
Other than that, in my opinion, it may be best to consider if this is financially doable for any of you. It seems very expensive. Destination weddings can be great for the couple, but can be impossible for guests and attendants.
Destination wedding costs for attendants and guests
