Destination wedding followed by reception immediately upon return
My fiance and I have planned to get married out of state, in Tennessee on August 3rd. Our family is aware of our decision. We have chosen to have a private ceremony by a waterfall with just my fiance and I present.
I know from other posts, that you say the wedding announcement should not be sent until AFTER the wedding, but we want to let people know our plans ahead of time, especially since we are not ELOPING and it is not a secret. Also, we want to have our reception the following Saturday when we return from the destination wedding, and if we do not send the invitations/announcements until we are married that will be only a few days notice for guests to attend the informal reception upon our return.
How should we best handle the announcement/reception invitation? Others have posted this idea:
Sally Smith and John Doe joyfully announce that we will unite in Holy Matrimony on October ## in a small, private ceremony. Please celebrate with us on October ## at ___ ..."
or
Jane Marie and John Doe Are proud to announce that on Wednesday, the third of August we will unite our hearts in Holy Matrimony in a private ceremony in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.
Although we are unable to have you there in person, because you have shared in our lives by your friendship and love, you will be with us on our special day.
Please join us on August 6th to celebrate this special occasion etc.....
Are either of these appropriate to be sent PRIOR to the wedding under the above conditions, and if so how far before the wedding should we send them.
Also, can we register for gifts just in case someone wants to give a gift, but only give the information word of mouth if asked to aid guests that insist on purchasing a gift?
and what if his fiance insists on throwing a shower even though there will be no guests invited to the wedding, only the reception? Is this tacky and if so how should I tell her it is inappropriate without hurting her feelings? (She is also hosting the reception at her house--not necessarily paying for it, but having it at her home.)
Thanks so much for your time.sorry this was so long, I just have no idea what I am doing.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [andrea51976] Destination wedding followed by reception immediately upon return
[In reply to]
Dear Announcement,
There really is no reason to announce your wedding ahead of time because your guests will receive an invitation to your reception. They will know that you will be married by the time of the reception--very simple for your guests to understand. Because none of them are invited to the wedding, they don't need to know about all of the details.
Also, because they are not invited to the wedding, there should be no shower. Only those invited to the wedding are to be invited to a shower. The bride and groom can never insist on having a shower since neither of them can host it. Nor, can family host it.
A good way to tell her that this is tacky is to say that it is never appropriate to ask people for gifts when these people are not invited to see the couple marry. It could also help to ask her to read about what a shower is supposed to be. Plus, that some people may view this as gift grabbing.
You may register, but gifts are usually given to the couple for the wedding, not the reception. You never know though. Some may want to give because as you say, your wedding is not a secret, which is another reason you don't need to announce it.
Send your reception invitations eight weeks before your reception date. Because you will not be married at this time, you will need to write it similar to the example you provided. Bride and Groom wish to invite you to celebrate our marriage...
Destination wedding followed by reception immediately upon return
