I am getting married for the first time along with my bride to be. We are both 30 and exciting about getting married, however this is turning stressful. My fiancée has lost both her parents, obviously making certain wedding traditions rather uncomfortable. I still have my mom on my side however. We are paying for the whole wedding ourselves. With that said, she is 100% for getting married on an island. That does sound fun, however, I am from an old school, very small tight Italian family and not having them there during the ceremony would break their hearts. I would be all for the island and really wish I could still do the island yet do something simple and celebrate here. I am between a rock and hard place right now and was looking for neutral advice. She would rather put the money toward a house, which is perfectly understandable. It is her day and I just want to make her the happiest bride ever. I know we could come back and hold a party or something like that, but what about the actual ceremony itself? Having the family fly down isn't really an option because money is tight and my grandfather is 90 and my grandmother is 85. One idea I had was that we could get married on an island this summer and then have a reception the following April with a renewal of our vows. Realistically, most places are booked this year anyway. Is this possible?Thank you in advance, Most sincerely, Mike
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 11, 2008, 8:47 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 11, 2008, 8:40 AM
Post #2 of 3
(734 views)
Re: [mikepl333] Please Help - at standstill: Island or tradional?
[In reply to]
Dear Mike -
You sound like a sweet, caring person. I understand you want everyone to be happy, and while that is a nice sentiment, it's not always possible. So, try to make as many happy as you can.
First, it is not only the bride's day. This is a day to celebrate the couple and the family, so please try to think of the wedding in that vein. The two of you are adding to the existing family, yet creating a bit of a new family too.
If your bride has her heart set on a destination wedding ceremony and your parents cannot attend, why not video or simulcast the event? You certainly can host a party after you return and show the video. However, renewing vows is typically saved for a benchmark anniversary or after a couple has been through a life altering event. It has much more meaning then. After all, what are you renewing? You will have just exchanged your vows.
I would suggest having a good discussion, making a list of all the pros and cons, and the two of you come together on the best solution for you as a couple. It's great practice for marriage.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Please come back and tell us how this all works out for you. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 11, 2008, 1:19 PM
Post #3 of 3
(721 views)
Re: [mikepl333] Destination wedding or wedding at home?
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more. Plus, a belated reception is very proper if you two decide on the destination wedding. All of your guests can watch the video during the reception--loop it and keep it running.
If you decide to have the wedding at home, it doesn't really have to be expensive. And you could skip or minimize elements that might draw attention to the fact that her parents are deceased. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Destination wedding or wedding at home?
