Expected to attend destination wedding because we can afford to do so
Dear Etiquette Experts:
My husband and I have been invited to a destination wedding for a couple to whom we are not close. The bride-to-be has expressed that she wants to ensure that a sufficient number of people will attend the wedding because the cost will be prohibitive for many (it is on a weekday and located on the West Coast when the majority of guests live on the East Coast). She has implied that she expects my husband and I to attend because she believes (based on our jobs) that we can afford to do so.
In reality, because of the downturn in the economy, we have loaned money to several relatives and are not really as flush as some may assume based upon our income. My question is, how can I politely decline the invitation without providing a plausible reason for not being able to attend? Saying that we cannot afford to do so will not sound plausible to the engaged couple yet I do not want to reveal that it is because we are helping others financially (the the couple is also friends with the family members we are helping).
Kind regards, Balt47
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Post #2 of 3
(1110 views)
Re: Expected to attend destination wedding because we can afford to do so
[In reply to]
When hosting a destination wedding it should be expected that many people, especially those with whom we aren't close, will not attend. The couple really isn't entitled to an explanation.
Just reply to the invitation, in writing, stating that you will not attend. She shouldn't ask why you're not attending, however, if she's rude enough to ask, just tell her that you have other personal obligations and wish her the best. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 3
(1108 views)
Re: Expected to attend destination wedding because we can afford to do so
[In reply to]
Dear Balt47,
I completely agree. You are not obligated to give anyone a detailed explanation when you cannot attend an event.
To be honest, her reasoning for inviting you and just assuming that you will attend due to your income, isn't polite or welcoming. It just doesn't reek warm and fuzzy, but rather cold and calculated. That isn't to say that I feel that you shouldn't attend due to this or that you should treat her in the same manner. It is just an observation.
Expected to attend destination wedding because we can afford to do so
