My husband and I have lived in Raleigh, NC for 18 years. Our daughter grew up here, and about 2 1/2 years ago, moved back to Pittsburgh, PA. (Our original home town.) My son is in LA, many other of the bride's immediate familiy members are in different states. A few are still in PGH. Groom's family/friends are almost all in the Pittsburgh area. (There's one close family member on his "A" list in Florida.) She wants to have a NC beach wedding. I guess that technically this makes it a destination wedding. We're going to try to find a hotel/facility on the beach to hold a wedding on Memorial Day weekend 2005. (since everyone has to travel, we figured the following: an extra day for travel wouldn't hurt, this is before hurricane season starts, not too hot, not too cold, and guests could make a weekend vacation out of it.) Questions: KIDS: two immediate family members and one couple (friends on her "A" list) have them (total of 5), ages at wedding range from <2 to 5. My daughter doesn't really want to invite kids. But, if they travel for the weekend, they may not be happy about leaving their children at home, or may not have anyone to leave them with. There will not be any other family members at all who live in the area of the wedding. I know we have the option to arrange babysitting services, but it's going to be really tempting for the parents to check up on them, an even bring them out so all relatives can see them. Babysitter can be offsite maybe? Or, just bite the bullet and invite them? Can we only invite the children of the immediate family members and friends on our "A" list, who we're sure will attend, and not invite the children of those that we think may not attend because of the distance? (There's a family with 3 young ones, not sure if they could attend. That would make it a total of 8.)
Bridal Shower: Two (possibly three) bride's maids live in PGH. My daughter would really love to ask her closest friend who lives in San Francisco to be her maid of honor. Should she consider this distance a problem? My daughter is afraid that she will be unable to organize/be involved with any pre-wedding events, i.e. shower. Is the maid of honor responsible for arranging the shower? It will be hard for her to fly to PHG for a shower, then travel to NC for the wedding. Can the bridesmaids arrange a shower (at least one will be a cousin) without involving the maid of honor? Any other reason why this far away friend should not be her maid of honor?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 19, 2004, 6:58 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 20, 2004, 11:21 AM
Post #2 of 2
(955 views)
Re: [erae] Families with kids/maid of honor far away
[In reply to]
Dear Families,
It would make for a lot of hurt feelings if you were to invite some children and not others. If your daughter wants no children at her wedding, do not invite them. Unfortunately, some will bring their children anyway. So, it is best to have a sitter just in case.
In many cases, the maid of honor cannot arrange the shower although it is traditionally her task. Your daughter's bridesmaid can arrange this but it is best if her cousin is a silent planner because of the family association.
There really isn't any reason why her friend cannot be your daughter's MOH. However, it would be best if your daugher was very honest with her friend about all of the costs that will be associated with her involvement in the wedding (travel, dress, lodging, time off of work, etc). This may be a huge factor.
Families with kids/maid of honor far away
