My dad says he won't go to our wedding in Italy because it is "rediculous". Plus they are saying it would be over $2,000 a person for airfare and hotel. Altough, we'd be saving him money overall by having a smaller destination wedding and not a huge reception at home. He hasn't even talked to us about the details so we can show him that this won't be as expensive as he is thinking. Plus he is going to Italy this September for his own vacation. I am hurt that he can't go for my wedding.
My sister says she won't go because she can't afford it either. But she didn't even offer to try and save the money. She has over a year.
We feel that no one is willing to meet us half way or even try to make this work. They all said they aren't coming from when the words "destination wedding" came out of my mouth. Although, apparenty, if we wanted it on an island that somehow would have been OK.
My fiances family is fine with the idea.
So, what do other people do in this situation? Can I really proceed with these plans knowing my family won't go? We are 40 years old and this is a first marriage for both of us, and a wedding in Italy is really what we want. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Firstly, your parents are not obligated to pay for your wedding so saying you'd be saving him money just doesn't make sense in this day and age.
With regard to your guests' attendance - this is unfortunate, but, really to be expected when you plan a destination wedding.
If you want to have the wedding in Italy, then you'll have to come to terms with the fact that some of your guests may not be able to afford the trip or even want to take such a trip. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
No one is obligated to spend the money they earn to attend your wedding, just because you want a destination wedding. The location is your choice. It is your guest's choice to attend or no. But, blaming others for not spending their money to travel to watch you marry isn't fair or polite.
The biggest problem with the destination wedding is that you are asking your guests to spend a lot of money just on travel and lodging. That doesn't even include the gift they are expected to ship. So, most often couples do not have the attendance they would wish. And, often it is those close family members they would want to share the day with them who do not attend.
So, your situation is typical.
If you want to marry in Italy, then do it. You would be paying for it, so you can marry anywhere you wish. Just know that your family cannot afford to attend. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
sgrab
Jul 9, 2007, 11:25 AM
Post #4 of 5
(917 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Family won't attend
[In reply to]
Thanks for your candid reply.
My father was going to pay for the wedding, he already told me that. I never expected him to. However, if he does not attend, I am fully prepared to pay for this myself. Of course, I would love for him to be there, but I respect his choice, as I hope he does mine.
Family won't attend
