Father of Bride will not fly to destination wedding
Hello,
I'm hoping someone can provide some help with my dilemma. My future husband has always wanted a destination wedding. We both love to travel, so I agreed. My father, however, has a huge fear of flying and will NOT fly. At first, I, and others, thought that maybe, just maybe, for his daughter's wedding, he would overcome the fear and fly down. However, he has been quite stern in the 'no fly' rule when my mother asked him about it. Now, I'm not sure what to do, as my future husband still wants a destination wedding (and has told me he will not enjoy it as much if it is in our hometown), but I think I will regret not having my father there. So, do we change location for just one person, or continue on with planning and hope he changes his mind? Any advice? I know there are no easy answers here, but I'm really torn over the situation.
Thank you very much.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 4
(684 views)
Re: Father of Bride will not fly to destination wedding
[In reply to]
Dear CM,
This is one of the biggest reasons the destination wedding is not an easy choice. Some will not and some cannot attend. So, it is your choice to continue with your plans or not, knowing that some just won't attend.
It is every guests' choice of whether they wish to travel for your wedding, no matter the relationship they have with you. It is expensive, both monetarily and for the time involved.
Re: Father of Bride will not fly to destination wedding
[In reply to]
It seems that BOTH you and your father will regret if he is not there. A father plays an important role in a marriage ceremony. I would think that your future husband would understand this.
yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor
Post #4 of 4
(641 views)
Re: Father of Bride will not fly to destination wedding
[In reply to]
If you do decide to change the location I think the point is that it won't be for just one person. If your Dad is unable to attend then it will not only affect him, but you, your mother and perhaps several other people. Most importantly it could effect your relationship with your partner if you resent him for this decision. So you have to think long and hard about this. I tend to agree with the advice given and wonder if your fiance is fully appreciating the importance of this for you and also the position he is putting you in to make this choice, all because he would prefer a destination wedding.
You both love travelling and that's great. You could take a honeymoon afterwards or travel every year together for the rest of your lives, but in the case of your wedding day, having the people you care about the most around you should probably take precedence over where you do it. I think that is another reason destination weddings can be challenging and often problematic because they force people in to making decisions that they either can't afford or are uncomfortable with.
I think you both have to weigh the two things out - the disappointment of not having your wedding in the paradise location of your choice vs having your family around. And remember there will be lots of memories of this day for the rest of your lives - what do you want those memories to be of?
Best of luck!! Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach, Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute http://www.stepinstitute.ca
(This post was
edited by yvonne"instep" on Feb 10, 2009, 10:24 PM)
Father of Bride will not fly to destination wedding
