My fiance and I decided to get married in Hawaii. We talked to the family and my family is ok with the idea. His parents said they will think about it. We called his grandparents and they were not happy and asked if my father was going to pay to fly the family to Hawaii for the wedding. Well, that is obviously not going to happen. We are going to Hawaii since it is a lot cheaper to have a small wedding there then have a huge one back home. We both have large families and our guest list would be over 300. (I have 135 aunts,uncles and 1st cousins) He is the almost the same.
We are still planning on having a reception at home for everyone, just not a huge sit down type reception. What are we suppose to tell people? Now his brother said he is also not able to go. My fiance is not that close to his older brother and he wasn't going to be part of the wedding anyway. My fiance said that we should just invite the parents, but I already told me sisters and they are very close to me and I always wanted them to be my bridesmaid. So is it going to look bad with two bridesmaids and no groomsmen? Or maybe one if his younger brother comes. Should we just cancel and do something else? We don't want to, but we also don't want the family to be mad? His older brother says that it is not only our wedding, the aunts and uncles want to see us get married and that it is selfish of us. Well, we are not that close to all of them, so I don't see the problem. We all see each other about once a year, so why does it matter if they see us say our vows in person? I am confused and don't know what to do. Do we do what we want or make the family happy?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Oct 11, 2004, 11:54 AM
Post #2 of 4
(2429 views)
Re: [stacie26] Getting Married in Hawaii - Family Issue
[In reply to]
Although you should do what you want you should also consider the feelings of others, if possible...especially the immediate family.
If you have your heart set on a marriage in Hawaii and your parents (and grandparents depending on the closeness and the relationship) are all agreeable then go ahead and send invitations out to everyone and see who will come. Tell the ones that don't want to or can't afford to come that there will be a reception later on, at home. Perhaps you could do a renewal of your vows at that time for all who wanted to see you get married but couldn't. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Oct 11, 2004, 1:00 PM
Post #3 of 4
(2425 views)
Re: [stacie26] Getting Married in Hawaii - Family Issue
[In reply to]
I completely agree. You never know how many people may come. Also, you could video tape the ceremony and play it back for those who could not attend if you are not renewing your vows at home.
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Oct 17, 2004, 9:28 AM
Post #4 of 4
(2392 views)
Re: [stacie26] Getting Married in Hawaii - Family Issue
[In reply to]
well, you just have to make a choice here. Cost of travel is often a big factor. So weigh it up carefully.
If the wedding is to be truly small then let the grapevine pass on the message - and also that you will be having a party when you return. Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Getting Married in Hawaii - Family Issue
