How much are bridesmaids for destination weddings really expected to pay?
My friend is having a destination wedding in Jamaica with a reception for friends/family later. She's chosen 5 girls who she said would be her maids if she had a traditional wedding, and we were all invited to Jamaica, although she knew from the start none of us could afford to go. We've already thrown her a bachelorette party, which cost each of us several hundred dollars for travel (only one maid lives in the same city as the bride), entertainment, and lodging. We're also having a shower the day before the reception, so we're expected to purchase a gift. Now she says she wants us all to wear the same dress for the reception--another thing to buy! I think this is unfair, considering that none of us get to actually witness or participate in the wedding. Is she expecting too much, and if so how can I tell her this without ruffling feathers?
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edited by TWQadmin on Jul 14, 2008, 7:29 PM)
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Post #2 of 3
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Re: How much are bridesmaids for destination weddings really expected to pay?
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You would only be considered a bridesmaid if you were actually going to play that role in the wedding. Since you are not doing this, you're not a bridesmaid. The pre-wedding [arties are only for guests invited (and actually attending) the wedding so none of these should have been hosted, but that is water under the bridge.
There should be no shower since, again, only guests invited to the wedding should be invited to a shower. None of you are obligated to wear dresses selected by the bride since you will be guests, not bridesmaids.
Explain to the bride that you've already put forth a lot of expense and you simply cannot afford to do anything further. Remind her that you are not attending the wedding and are not her bridesmaids. You can find a kind way of saying this to her, I'm sure. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
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Post #3 of 3
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Re: How much are bridesmaids for destination weddings really expected to pay?
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I completely agree. This is another one of those, "We can't have it both ways." If we want the small exotic wedding, we can't have all of the prewedding parties. If we don't have attendants, we can't expect them to dress as if they are. We all have to make choices and we all have to live with the consequences. It is part of life.
How much are bridesmaids for destination weddings really expected to pay?
