My son and his new fiance' will be married in CA on Dec.31 with a full reception. We are planning to have a small reception here in NY the weekend of Jan. 12- There is a question as to whether we send invitations to everyone here in NY for the wedding in CA. We were going to just send invitations to family and very close friends for CA We do not want to expect to much from out guests and then the bridal shower- that would be asking way to much. We are not sure how to handle this- Should there be a separate announcement of the wedding that took place and then an invitation for the NY reception?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 12, 2007, 6:11 PM
Post #2 of 4
(654 views)
Re: [Kathy O] Invitations for an out of state wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Kathy,
The couple decides who to invite and they send the invitations. The parents do not. They can invite any of their friends and family from NY if they wish. The guests can decide if they want to attend. Of course hosting the wedding on Dec. 31 would affect how many guests will want to attend. It will most likely be a very small crowd.
Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower and family doesn't host or invite.
Announcements are sent to those who are not invited to the wedding or reception. Those invited to the reception will know the couple is married by the very fact they received a reception invitation.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Invitations for an out of state wedding
[In reply to]
There seems to be a misunderstanding here, Let me try to make it a little clearer. Its not a matter of who invites who - its a matter of is it appropriate to send invitations to friends/neighbors from the east coast to the west coast when there is a reception on the east coast? Is it asking to much of the guests?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 12, 2007, 8:58 PM
Post #4 of 4
(643 views)
Re: [Kathy O] Invitations for an out of state wedding
[In reply to]
I completely understand and the answer is still the same. The couple creates the guest list. If they want their neighbors and friends on the east coast to attend their wedding, it is completely appropriate to invite them, even if there is a reception in town. It isn't too much to ask. They would only be inviting them. The guests have the opportunity to decide for themselves if they wish to attend.
More than likely these guests would know, by word of mouth, that there will be a local reception as well. In fact, it would be appropriate to include this invitation (since it is so close to the wedding date) with the wedding invitation.
But, these guests must be the couple's choice. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Invitations for an out of state wedding
