I have been asked to be the maid of honor at a destination wedding in Las Vegas. However, the bride has not offered to pay for my lodgings at the wedding.
She had previously sent me an email detailing a flight-hotel package for the weekend, I replied that it was proper for her to pay for my lodgings, and asked if she had purchased the package.
She replied that I was responsible for lodging costs, since all the other members of the bridal party are paying for themselves.
This reply has soured me towards the event, and I'm not sure what to do.
I agreed to participate in the wedding with the understanding that I would have to assume the cost of my dress, travel, and the shower, which I have done without complaint. I feel that to pay for my lodgings in expensive Vegas is taking advantage of my goodwill.
What should I do?
(I should add that I am on a limited budget as I am just starting graduate school, and I am the only one in the bridal party in school)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Aug 30, 2007, 7:39 AM
Post #2 of 4
(993 views)
Re: [doncella82] Maid of Honor Lodging at Destination Wedding
[In reply to]
Call the bride and explain that, since it is customary for the bride and groom to pay for the attendants lodging for a destination wedding, you agreed based on that custom. However, now that you know she is not going to follow that etiquette, you'll have to bow out since you were not prepared to pay, and cannot pay, for this expense. Apologize, of course, and let her know that you will still come and be a guest (if indeed you can affoird to without the expenses of the bridal party), if you still care to attend. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 30, 2007, 12:47 PM
Post #3 of 4
(981 views)
Re: [doncella82] Maid of Honor Lodging at Destination Wedding
[In reply to]
I couldn't have said it better and completely agree.
Bravo on beginning graduate school. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
doncella82
Aug 31, 2007, 12:50 AM
Post #4 of 4
(972 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Maid of Honor Lodging at Destination Wedding
[In reply to]
Thanks for the advice. What I failed to describe accurately is that I already bought the dress, gave the shower, etc., so if I go to the wedding, I will continue my role as maid of honor. If I decide to somehow assume the costs, and still go to the wedding, should I still talk to the bride about this, or just bite the bullet without comment? Thanks again for the advice!
Maid of Honor Lodging at Destination Wedding
