I've searched the posts, but have been unable to find anything that touches this.
My fiance and I are getting married in Key West in September. Save the dates were sent out September 2008, invites will be going out this month. We specifically do not want children on this trip and realize that some family members will be unable to attend as a result of lack of child care, etc. We are inviting only immediate family and three sets of close friends.
Suddenly, one of our close friends has recently informed me that they plan on bringing their 10 year old daughter as they've "never taken a family vacation." I know that other people who are invited have already arranged child care with in-laws or cousins will be questioning this and I also know it is completely inappropriate to indicate "No Children" or "Adults Only" on invitations or RSVP cards.
My question is, is it acceptable for me to put the names of the invitees on the RSVP cards, i.e. Chuck and Sally will see you at the beach, etc. If so, do you think this will deter them or at least make them reconsider bringing this child? I am a mother myself, so I am not a child-hater, but my daughter is in college and one of my pet peeves is ill-behaved children at weddings, or anywhere for that matter.
This child is not very well behaved and I'm a bit offended when they told me of their plans. Am I over-reacting? We did not want our wedding trip to turn into a "family vacation" nor do I want this to interfere with the friendship we have with this couple.
I know I'm sounding self-centered, but this is supposed to be our day and an adult trip for us to take a break from kids, college, work, etc. and they've known about our specific wishes regarding this for over a year.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and thank you for your time and attention to this frustrating dilemma!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 4, 2009, 10:44 AM)
I'm totally on board with you on the ill-behaved child issue. Too many parents these days just don't parent their kids. They're running around unsupervised and parent's say "Aren't they spirited?". Ugh. It is a growing concern. And, I'm no child hater either. I raised two children and both were not always well behaved. When they stood on the booth at the restaurant they were firmly told the expectations of restaurant behavior (for my enjoyment and the enjoyment of other diners) and if they couldn't comply, we left. In fact, I missed out on a trip through Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory due to my youngest child's behavior! But parents these days don't seem to want to make those kinds of sacrifices. Eh - I digress...
Although you certainly can decide not to invite children to your wedding, you really cannot stop these parents from bringing their child on the trip. I would have a chat with your friend letting her know that there will be no children attending the wedding since it will be an intimate event. Suggest that she would need to have child care for the wedding and reception, to which the child will not be invited. Say you're sorry, blah blah, blah...
Let us know how this works out for you and have a wonderful trip. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I will definitely let you know how this progresses. I have decided to put specific names on the RSVP's as indicated in my original post in hopes of adding a bit more of a deterrent - plus it's going to be very casual and it actually looks a bit more personal.
Thank you again for your reply and all of the wonderful advice and suggestions you provide! I just can't read enough!
No Children Invited to Destination Wedding
But parents these days don't seem to want to make those kinds of sacrifices. Eh - I digress... 