Our Guests Didn't Give Gifts for Destination Weddings
My daughter had a destination wedding and paid $150 pp and $300 per couple for their all inclusive for the day of the wedding. She also gave a gift of a beach bag filled with amenities and two beach towels. A majority of her friends, did not even give a gift - not even a card. Should any of them be confronted as to "WHY" or just let it be? How ignorant could people be not to give something, not even a card? If my daughter didn't pay for their all inclusive the day of the wedding, I could understand, but they knew it was paid for and not to give something, I find very rude because they would of had to pay originally.
I say something should be said and my sister said leave it alone! I feel these people aren't true friends. My daughter went to a destination wedding and gave a gift. What's your advice on this?
Karen
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 11, 2008, 11:22 AM)
TWQadmin
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Post #2 of 3
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Re: Our Guests Didn't Give Gifts for Destination Weddings
[In reply to]
Firstly, wedding gifts should be sent to the home of the bride before the wedding. And, although it is considered appropriate to send a gift when you're invited to a wedding, gifts should not be expected, nor should they be the focus. Weddings are about sharing our love with the family and friends. They shouldn't be all about gifts or a tit-for-tat. Your daughter gave these gifts (this was her choice to pay for trips and beach bags) to her guests as a thank you for attending; for making the trip to her destination, not so she can rack up a series of points for which she'll even the score later on.
Now, I will agree that they should have sent something, at least a card, but they didn't. What is to be gained by confronting your guests? A more important question might be, what is to be lost by confrontation; probably a friendship or relationship. It's never polite to tell another person, especially those you care for, that you feel they have been rude (unless it is your child and you're teaching them right from wrong).
If this were my daughter, and she was upset, I would quickly remind her of all the positives in her life. After all, she met and married the man of her dreams, had an exotic wedding in a romantic location and obviously has a mother who cares for her deeply. Remind her that not getting a gift is not a reflection on her relationship with that non-giver, but probably more about the person never being taught proper manners or the best ways to show care to people. Set a good example for her and leave this fight behind you. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 3
(1995 views)
Re: Our Guests Didn't Give Gifts for Destination Weddings
[In reply to]
Very well put and I couldn't have said it better. So...ditto. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Our Guests Didn't Give Gifts for Destination Weddings
