Since our destination is an all inclusive resort, it is difficult to determine the exact price of lodging for our attendents. Instead, we paid for the shower, meal & drinks, a large portion of bachelor and bachelorette parties, all clothes & accessories including hair & nails for bridesmaids and full outfits for the groomsmen, expensive gift bags as well as separate gifts for each attendent. Is this sufficient? The total cost per attendent that we've spent is about $400.00pp. That's close to the amount of a 2 night stay in a normal US hotel. Please advise if we should be also giving them a "cash" gift as well. They did have the opportunity to "reject" the offer of being an attendent and they are also getting a fabulous all inclusive vacation out of the deal.
The traditional expense for the attire, etc. is borne by the bridal attendants. They also traditionally pay for their own transportation to the wedding city and the bride and groom pay for their accomodations. I cannot imagine how or why you would have paid for the shower or the bachelor or bachelorette parties, but that would certainly indicate you threw those parties for yourself. In view of the expenses that you have incurred for the attendants, I would say as long as they understand that they are responsible for their travel and accomodations, there should be no problem. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com and http://www.coordinatorscorner.com
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edited by TWQadmin on Nov 19, 2009, 5:29 PM)
Thanks! I don't think anyone was expecting us to pay for their accomodations but I was checking your site earlier and noted that it was appropriate etiquette so I got a little concerned. I should have paid for the rooms, but didn't know any better, so I paid for the other expenses just because I felt guilty about the bridal party having to take on other expenses as well as the trip. Live and learn. I should have checked online first, I guess!
The attendants are not "also getting a fabulous all inclusive vacation out of the deal." They are paying for it. There is a huge difference. But, I do agree with the advice offered.
And, please for all others reading this: never host any of these prewedding parties for yourselves, which is implied by paying. These are typically gift giving parties and are optional. To pay for them is to imply that you want a shower and are willing to pay up to insure you receive one. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
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edited by Etiquette Now on Nov 20, 2009, 3:10 PM)
Paying for Attendees
