My fiance and are are in the midst of setting a budget for our destination wedding. We would like to pay for some travel expenses for our family members and members of the wedding party, but I'm having a hard time making it fair between our families.
I have 6 immediate family members and he only has 1. I thought it would be fair if we paid for his closest aunts, uncle, and cousins (8 people - close to my 6) but I'm worried that my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. will feel that this is unfair. We absolutly cannot afford to pay for everyone. Is it fair to pay for some of his extended family, but not mine?
Also, I'm planning to pay for 2 nights lodging for the guests we do pay for - the night before and the night of the wedding. Is it okay to ask them to bunk together to use as few rooms as possible (assuming they're in the same family i.e. mother, father & adult children) Do I need to pay any of their other travel expenses?
You are not obligated to pay for family or guests--lodging or travel expenses. You are only obligated to pay for the lodging of your attendants (at least two nights). So, anything you offer is generous. You could offer lodging, including sharing, but it should be their choice.
It might cause hurt feelings if you paid for some family and not others since this will be a small affair. They just might talk about it. So, tread softly here.
Paying for wedding guests
