I am having a destination wedding in Jamaica in April 08. We are having a local party in Sept. 07, which we hoped could serve as a local reception, but are now thinking it better be called an engagement party (we do not plan to have a post-destination reception). We intend to invite everyone to BOTH affairs, this way those that cannot come to Jamaica can celebrate with us here, and those that CAN come to Jamaica also have the opportunity to be with us here as well. Is it proper to invite all guests to both affairs, and if so, is there a way to indicate how gifts should be handled (so that those coming to Jamaica don't feel obligated to give twice)? Thanks for all the help.....obviously we need it!!
(This post was
edited by hotmamma on Jul 24, 2007, 7:51 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 25, 2007, 10:58 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [hotmamma] Pre-destination party
[In reply to]
Dear Hotmamma,
A reception is never hosted before the wedding. This is a party to celebrate the wedding and to thank your guests for sharing the moment with you. So, this would be an engagement party.
This is not a gift giving event and shouldn't appear to be one, especially since you are hosting it. If any gifts are given, none should be used until after the wedding. After all these are wedding gifts and meant for a wedded couple.
Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to any prewedding party. So, all engagement party guests must be invited to the wedding. But, an engagement party is not supposed to be a large affair involving all of your wedding guests. Because some do not realize that this is not a gift giving affair, it could appear as if you are hosting a gift grab for yourselves. Be careful with your planning.
Hosting a reception after your wedding is optional. However, if you are inviting guests to a destination wedding, they will have to spend quite a bit just to witness you two marry. So, it is only polite to offer them something.
Wedding guests are supposed to ship their gifts to you before or shortly after your wedding. If they ask, you could inform them of this. And, there is no way to inform your guests of your registry unless they ask. This is never written in any invitations besides shower invitations.
We have many posts concerning proper etiquette for wedding planning. It may be helpful to read some of them.
Pre-destination party
