Our destination wedding is not going to be until April of 09. I am pretty sure I have made the decision of where we plan to have it at a villa, and the lodging will be different since we don't feel we can leave it up to the guests to book the different villas as they choose on the property like they would if they had to book rooms at a resort. If the entire property is booked it can hold up to 60 guests and there is a strong possibility that we will have that many. That leaves the issue of making sure we maximize the individual villas based on who knows who so we don't end up in a situation where the only way we can accommodate everyone is to put people who don't know each other in the same villa (which is obviously not an option).
We do not plan to pay for everyone's lodging other than the attendants, but, to reserve the place we have to put 50% down which could be up to $8,500. If we want to book the entire place we should book it no later than 9 months in advance to get the week we want. Of course $8,500 is a lot to come up with up front especially when we don't have a true count on how many will attend. So, would the following be proper:
Save the Date - I thought about sending these out end of February to everyone we want to invite.
RSVP - Send these out end of April with a payment schedule and give two months to rsvp with the first payment. It would not be much - about 150/person. I figured once we get that payment it would help in the 50% down payment, give us an idea of who is really serious, and allow us to plan which villas to reserve (if we don't have to book the whole place), or if we need to find additional lodging (if more than 50-60 rsvp), and who will stay in what ones. I would request that the final payment be paid in January/February of 09 - so about 6 months later. I would give a general $$ amount it could be - like an additional 150-250/person to make sure they are clear on cost and there is no surprises. I figure IF there are any changes at that time(and I am sure there will be) it would still give us enough time to make appropriate adjustments to the lodging situation.
While we will be the core people responsible in taking care of the lodging arrangements, we will make sure to let them know in the RSVP that it will be up to them to arrange their flights. I am thinking about calling a main airline to see if there is a way to get an advanced group rate on flight if that is even possible, and if so providing them with that contact info.
After that long explanation, can you please give me your thoughts on this?
I appreciate an advise you can give! Thanks!
Angie
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 9, 2008, 3:19 PM)
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Jan 9, 2008, 4:07 PM
Post #2 of 5
(900 views)
Re: [angiescholten] Question 1 on Destination wedding
[In reply to]
Angie:
I'm going to be direct about my answer, but please understand that I do sympathize with what you are trying to achieve, no matter how complicated it's become. However, you cannot charge admission to your wedding.
Essentially, by sending an RSVP card with an amount due, you are charging admission. As much as we would like to control every factor of every wedding, we either have to pay for certain things (entitling us to control) or accept that it is out of our control. If commandeering the entire resort is essential to your happines, budget for paying (at least) half (perhaps some of your family or closest friends will reimburse you knowing the situation, but you can't require it). Otherwise, provide the accommodations information clearly, early and often and hope that your guests have enough sense to book. If not, they'll have to find rooms at the other properties on the island. That way they will choose their own length of stay and will take responsibility for their own accommodations (and not need to buy a "ticket" to attend).
Re: [angiescholten] Question 1 on Destination wedding
[In reply to]
Bravo. I couldn't have said it better.
We don't send a RSVPs in our save the dates. These are not invitations. It is better to have a third person, such as an agent, as a go between. Your save the dates could include all contact information. It is unseemly for the hosts to be the banker.
Many things could change from now until April 09. I doubt many people would want to commit money or time at this point. So, it may be best to plan for a few disappointments. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
I appreciate what you are saying, and understand where you are coming from, BUT :) these are close family and friends that we are inviting, and in my opinion since this is a once in a lifetime special event rather than say a new year's eve bash....I would think they could make a decision 9-10 months in advance on whether they do or don't want to be a part of our special day. The deal is yes they will be attending our wedding, but they are going to get a great vacation for a fraction of the price too. I calculated it that if we had around 40 people it would be around 250/person for an entire 7 night stay in Jamaica....and these places from every review I have read, including personally talking to someone who just had their wedding there, have given nothing but rave reviews.
The money up front will help us put with the down payment to guarantee we get the villas we want, but that doesn't mean that 2-4 months prior if something changes with some of the guests that we can't cancel without penalty...
I don't know. I think I am going to just email everyone I plan on inviting and ask them for their honest opinions (hoping since I do know them all well they will give it to me).
Thanks again for your advice!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 9, 2008, 6:34 PM
Post #5 of 5
(885 views)
Re: [angiescholten] Question 1 on Destination wedding
[In reply to]
You could definitely ask them what they think. But, to expect them to pay up front more than a year in advance would be a stretch. Plus, it isn't proper to ask them to pay you. Your guests should work through the resort or an agent. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Question 1 on Destination wedding
