After thinking about it, my fiance and I have decided to have two ceremonies. We are having a destination wedding ceremony in Mexico, but before we leave we are going to have a religious ceremony with our pastor in the home of my fiance's mother. Some questions: 1-What are the steps taken when sending out invitations for a destination wedding? 2-We both have large extended families. How do you decide who to invite? All are welcome, but we don't want people feeling like they have to come because we know it's costly, but we also don't want people to feel excluded. 3-Which ceremony should be the most formal-the one here at home in the states or the one in Mexico?
Thanks!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 20, 2005, 3:45 PM
Post #2 of 6
(1389 views)
Re: [deeboyd22] Questions about having 2 ceremonies
[In reply to]
Dear Questions,
I have to answer your questions as an etiquette specialist, so I must tell you that this would be considered a reaffirmation of your wedding vows or a vow renewal. Reaffirmation sounds a bit better because you are reaffirming your vows in the church, but you can use either term--it means the same.
Much has been said recently about it being appropriate to have two ceremonies calling both weddings. This is not proper etiquette. But, it is your choice to follow societal guidelines or not. I just wouldn't want you to be embarrassed later by not knowing what it considered appropriate by etiquette standards.
1. It would probably be best to send Save the Date cards with lodging information for your guests. This way they will have time to plan. Then send your invitations to your reaffirmation six to eight weeks before your ceremony.
2. Send invitations to everyone you wish to attend. Don't exclude anyone. They will either come or not. Just make sure that your venue can accommodate them before you invite anyone. You just never know. They may all attend.
3. Either can be formal. Usually the destination wedding is informal with the reaffirmation the most formal. But, this is your choice.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Questions about having 2 ceremonies
[In reply to]
Thanks! Your information is helpful. I just wanted to clarify something. We are having the religious ceremony before we leave and we then plan to leave for Mexico and have a ceremony there. So should we call the ceremony in Mexico the reaffirmation ceremony? Also the ceremonies will only be three days apart-should we send the invitations out with information for both?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 20, 2005, 4:19 PM
Post #4 of 6
(1379 views)
Re: [deeboyd22] Questions about having 2 ceremonies
[In reply to]
Dear Questions,
Oops! I'm so sorry. Your ceremony in Mexico would be your reaffirmation. Jeez, I apologize for getting that wrong.
Usually, if one is reaffirming soon after a wedding it is because they decided to have a civil ceremony followed by a religious service. This is why I was thinking that you may want a more formal reaffirmation. In this case, it seems more likely that you would want your wedding to be the most formal of the two ceremonies.
Yes, it would probably be better to combine the two ceremonies on one invitation.
This sounds as if it will be a wonderful few days for everyone. Congratulations!
Questions about having 2 ceremonies
