Our daughter is getting married at a place she fell in love with. The regulations of the place limit her wedding party to 25 people. She is 34, this is her first wedding. She was deeply in love with a young man when she was younger and they planned to be married. He died in an accident before they got married. We have remained friends with his family. Now that our daughter is getting married, the mother of the former love wants to give our daughter a shower. I have read numerous posts which say that only close friends and relatives invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Our daughter wants only a small shower with her close friends and doesn't want gifts. I think more people than her close friends/family will be invited. The shower guests who aren't attending the wedding will be attending the reception a month later. Do you think under the circumstances, we would be allowed to sidestep wedding shower etiquette, or should I suggest to our friend to call it a tea or luncheon? I searched diligently for a similar situation in the threads, but didn't see anything to help answer my question. Thank you.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 17, 2008, 2:06 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1105 views)
Re: [Marthe55] Shower and destination wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Marthe55,
No, this wouldn't be a good time to sidestep the rules. There may still be those who feel that they are only good enough for the reception and not the wedding (hurt feelings). The shower is a party to celebrate the upcoming wedding and to generate excitement in the guests, as if they are a part of the planning. So, it would be best if this is not a prewedding party. Skipping it would probably be even better, but this is her choice. The host may be able to host something that doesn't resemble a prewedding party.
Bravo on your daughter's decision to go the giftless shower route. This is a very positive focus--people rather than gifts.
Shower and destination wedding
