Wedding attendants insist bride and groom pay for airfare for destination wedding
My fiance and I are getting married this summer in Scotland, which I understand is huge undertaking for attendants and guests since we all live in the US. We understand that this may be a financial strain on some people and have told them that we completely understand if they cannot make it (since we are having an informal celebration when we get back, they can celebrate then if they want to). We asked our attendants 1 year ago and they were all very excited to participate in the wedding.
We have offered to pay for the hotel for the nights that the attendants will be staying at the hotel, which will be between 3 and 4 nights (only 2 nights are actually needed for the wedding activities). In addition to the hotel we have offered to pay for the bridesmaids' dresses and groomsmen's suits, in an effort to defer some wedding costs for them. We are having 2 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids, so we thought this was a generous offer.
However, 1 groomsman and 1 bridesmaid (they are a couple) recently came to us saying that we had to pay for their airfare in addition to the other costs we had told them that we would pay for. We clarified that we were only comfortable and financially able to pay for the hotel and wedding attire. They are in a difficult financial situation right now, so we do feel for them. However, I feel that they put us in a very bad position. I feel that if we pay for their flights, we should pay for the flights for the other attendants, which we are in no position to do. They said that they were shocked that they even had to ask for the airfare, seeing as we asked them and were obligated to pay for their flights.
We are not able to pay for more than we have already offered.. They are even telling us that it is our responsibility to pay for it since we could have had our wedding in a less expensive location.
We just don't know what to say to them regarding their request. What do you think is the best way to handle the situation? We want to preserve our friendships, however my fiance and I are very uncomfortable with the whole situation.
Thank you in advance!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 30, 2008, 8:15 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 30, 2008, 8:20 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1209 views)
Re: [CelticBride] Wedding attendants insist bride and groom pay for airfare for destination wedding
[In reply to]
The bridal couple is really only responsible for paying for the lodging for their attendants and not the attire or airfare. So, you are being very generous. The only thing to do is to explain that the two of you have financial concerns as well and are trying to stick with a reasonable wedding budget. Just let them know that you're in no position to offer anymore than you have. Explain that you hope they can still join you but will certainly understand if they cannot stretch their budget. Encourage everyone to get together to possibly find group rates and specials discounts on airfare. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 30, 2008, 9:54 AM
Post #3 of 3
(1202 views)
Re: [CelticBride] Wedding attendants insist bride and groom pay for airfare for destination wedding
[In reply to]
I completely agree. You have been very generous and have approached this difficult situation delicately.
And, this is a great example of why etiquette is important. If they knew what was really proper, this issue wouldn't have become a problem. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Wedding attendants insist bride and groom pay for airfare for destination wedding
