Can you have a bridal shower if you are having a destination wedding with no attendants?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 2, 2004, 10:32 PM)
purple
Deleted
Sep 3, 2004, 9:21 AM
Post #2 of 7
(2341 views)
Re: [suki2648] bridal shower for destination wedding
[In reply to]
I am having a destination wedding. What I would have liked (although no one is doing a shower for me) is to invite people to the shower anyway and to indicate on the invitations the situation, "This is our last time for us to celebrate with Suzy before she flies off to _____ and becomes a married woman." This way people can decide whether or not they want to go to your shower knowing they won't be invited to the wedding. I see nothing rude in that. Some traditionalists will feel they don't want to go to a shower for a wedding they're not invited to. Most invitees will probably come anyway.
Especially in light of the fact most guests won't be invited to the ceremony, I also wanted to say, "gifts optional". Now, the hardcore shower lovers don't like the gifts optional comment--they say it's not polite to mention anything about gifts, and anyways, if you say gifts aren't necessary then it's a party, not a shower. I say, people aren't that savvy. If you invite them to a party, they'll think it's a party and wonder if a shower will be later or that there was a shower they weren't invited to. Unfortunately, to avoid confusion, I feel it's best to spell it out for them.
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Sep 3, 2004, 11:06 AM
Post #3 of 7
(2336 views)
Re: [purple] bridal shower for destination wedding
[In reply to]
Problems here are that #1. You or a family member should not host the shower #2. Mentioning gifts at all is an assumption on your part.
You seem to know this already and are alright with it so the question is? Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
mannersmith
Manners & Etiquette Expert
Sep 14, 2004, 8:51 AM
Post #4 of 7
(2281 views)
Re: [purple] bridal shower for destination wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Purple,
Ah, where to start, where to start? There are just so many things wrong here. First, the bride can not host their own shower as it is both tacky and rude to shake down guests for additional gifts. Which brings me to number two, only wedding guests should be invited to a shower since an invitation to only the shower is seen as greedy. You like this person enough to ask them to a gift giving event and to acceot their gift but not enough to invite them to the special ocassion and to show them a good time. Third, if a bride wants to celebrate with those who are not invited to the actual wedding, she and her new husband may have a reception upon their return to share their good news. Guests invited to this reception would have the choice whether or not to give a gift.
Re: [purple] bridal shower for destination wedding
[In reply to]
Actually you said:
"What I would have liked (although no one is doing a shower for me) is to invite people to the shower anyway and to indicate on the invitations the situation, "This is our last time for us to celebrate with Suzy before she flies off to _____ and becomes a married woman." This way people can decide whether or not they want to go to your shower knowing they won't be invited to the wedding. I see nothing rude in that. Some traditionalists will feel they don't want to go to a shower for a wedding they're not invited to. Most invitees will probably come anyway."
I think Jodi was addressing what yousaid (not the original poster), not what you were actually doing. I believe she wanted to let the original poster know the reasons why your suggestion (to host her own shower and or invite guests to a shower when they have not been invited to her wedding) was not following traditional etiquette rules, which is why visitors come here to ask. They are interested in what etiquette has to say and etiquette says that having a shower in this instance is a no-no. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
mannersmith
Manners & Etiquette Expert
Sep 14, 2004, 1:16 PM
Post #7 of 7
(2256 views)
Re: [suki2648] bridal shower for destination wedding
[In reply to]
Yes, you may have a shower for a destination wedding with no attendants as long as there are guests. One of the bride's or groom's aunts/cousins/friends may host a shower for the bride and invite those who are invited to the wedding.
bridal shower for destination wedding
