We are having a destination wedding in the caribbean that is a 3hr flight from where we live. We have two close friends/couple that were recently married whose wedding we drove 4 & 5 hrs away to attend, stayed in a hotel overnight out of town & gave gifts to. One of those friends is not coming to our wedding & sent us a gist off our registry that is half the amount we gave. We gave $200 cash & they sent something that was $99. The second couple is coming to our wedding & spent $50 from our registry & we gave a gift of $225 off their registry just a few months ago. I am confused...I was under the impression that you should always at least give equal to what you got. I question is, since we are having a destination wedding, am I being unrealistic? I feel hurt & bad for feeling this way. I don't care about gifts generally & think highly of my friends, but am I too generous, unrealistic or, just expecting too much? I would have been less hurt if they gave nothing at all. What is the proper etiquette here & what should I expect? Thank you.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 17, 2009, 9:05 AM)
Gifts are given from the heart, not the wallet. You give what you can afford, and, in these tough economic times, we should all be grateful for any gift. In fact, since my entire family is almost gone now, I'd be thrilled just to have people I love attending. Count your blessing, not your dollars. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
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Post #3 of 3
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Re: destination wedding gift etiquette
[In reply to]
Very well put.
You are keeping track of what others spend on you? Honestly, that isn't kind or polite behavior. If you give generously in hope of receiving in kind, then you are neither generous or kind. People are not expected to give a gift equal to the amount of one they receive. And, if they are not attending your wedding, they are not expected to give a gift anyway.
Yes, if you believe as you do, that is unrealistic and expecting too much. Thank your friends for what they do for you and for everything they give. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
destination wedding gift etiquette
