wedding party encounter unexpected a high cost on a destination wedding
Hi,
Thank you for reading this long post.
Both my husband and I are in our friends' wedding party for next August. We knew it would a destination wedding in Mexico. However, when we were asked to be in the wedding party, we were told the cost would be about $1200 per person. It is a lot of money for us, but we decided to save for a year and be there for our friends.
We were told yesterday that they have booked the resort and the cost is $1800 per person. The wedding party was not consulted for date, resort and cost before they booked it. We must put down deposits before the end of July 31, which is in a week. Also we must stay in the resort they chose because there are no other resorts close by. My husband and I also need to pay for attires of bridemaid and grooms man, shower and wedding gift.
The date of their wedding was decided after we were invited to be part of the wedding party. To attend the wedding, I will have to take unpaid leave from work because we already planned a trip to visit my parents overseas (who we havent seen for 3 years) in the same month.
Bride and groom do not intend to offer any financial help and warned us not to back out of their wedding. Facing a cost of over $5000 and no time to shop around for a better deal, I am very stressed out. I tried to ask opinion from other members in the wedding party, who are in worse financial situation than my husband and I. They did not support our suggestion of discussing money issue with the bride and groom because "they are our good friends and this is a vacation for ourselves too". They don't support me raising the issue to the bride and groom because I will spoil the wedding.
I feel very isolated and don't know what to do. I definitely want to be there for their big day. But I am not willing to be in debt for their wedding. We did comite to a destination wedding. But it was with a much lower budget. Without support from rest of the wedding party, how can I communicate this issue with bride without damaging our friendship with the bride and groom, or friendships with rest of the wedding party?
Please help!!!!!!!
Yoyo
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 19, 2007, 5:24 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1176 views)
Re: [yoyo] wedding party encounter unexpected a high cost on a destination wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Yoyo,
There is no guarantee that they won't be upset or that your relationship won't suffer if you back out. But, they are responsible for at least two days of your lodging. They are not offering this and raised the costs without your prior knowledge. So, you are within your etiquette rights to cancel your commitment to them.
The others could state their cases as well, but have chosen not to. That is their decision. But, in the view of what is considered proper the couple is taking advantage of their bridal party. They may or may not realize it though.
wedding party encounter unexpected a high cost on a destination wedding
