Let me begin by clarifying that this will not be a first marriage for me nor my fiance.
We plan on getting married in March 2007 which is less than a year. We just got engaged and although I am very happy about this, I can't help by worry about the cost of this upcoming wedding. My fiance had a very low budget, Las Vegas wedding his first time around and I don't think he realizes all the planning it takes to have a traditional wedding like he wants. He get's upset with me and tells me I'm taking the magic away when I bring up finances and thinks I am worrying about everything too soon... being that we just announced our engagement days ago.
I want this to be just as special as he does, but he wants the traditional setting, the reception, the band, the limo... the whole 9 yards and believes that my family should take care of a lot of the cost. I told him I can't ask them for help because they put a lot into my last marriage and it just wouldn't be right.
Is it fair to ask him to put 1/2 into this wedding or is it going to mostly fall on me since I am the bride? I don't want to add any stress to the situation, but I am very worried that I won't be able to save enough between now and March.
How can I do this without having to ask for help from family? How can I give him the wedding of his dreams on a strict budget? I also understand that we are newly engaged and that I should bask in the magic for a while, so when would be an appropriate time to bring up my concerns?
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Jul 14, 2006, 6:37 AM
Post #2 of 4
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Re: [earthjam4ever] Will this all fall on me?
[In reply to]
One of the first issues to be discussed and agreed on is the budget. Your fiance' may be on cloud 9 but will have to come down to get the ball rolling. You should discuss the financial issues and the thoughts of compromising on size or formality to accomodate your finances. Once you've had this discussion, you can share your plan with your parents and his and if they chose to contribute toward the wedding more the better. Communication throughout this process is a key element to a happy wedding and marriage. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 14, 2006, 8:25 AM
Post #3 of 4
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Re: [earthjam4ever] Will this all fall on me?
[In reply to]
The days where bride and family are expected to foot the bill for the entire wedding are over. In fact, since most couples are getting married older, more mature and financially responsible for themselves, the couple typically pays for the wedding themselves. Sometimes, the parents will offer to help but never ask. As nancy said, tell your parents about your plans and if they offer to help, great.
Please have your fiance visit us here if he has any questions. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 14, 2006, 2:32 PM
Post #4 of 4
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Re: [earthjam4ever] Will this all fall on me?
[In reply to]
I completely agree. And, if he is thinking or expecting you to completely cover all of the costs, it may be best to have a comprehensive discussion about finances before the wedding. Many of the fights married couples have concern finances. It is best to be on the same page about this. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Will this all fall on me?
