Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
I can not believe how much money this is costing is there anyway I can skip so many of these parties its seems like there is more parties before the cermony then after? My finace and I work everyday plus both sides of our parents are helping with this wedding we got people from overseas coming and a huge family, we had to pre order everything plus now I have to keep buying for ungrateful bridesmaids who can't even make up thier mind what colors of gowns they want to wear? There is a constant rivalry amongst several of them. I really am fed up here and need some advice. I don't think a bachelorette party is a good idea because they want me to shill out the dollars for it I have rude bridesmaids, that can not agree on anything, My fiance already told his friends he did not want a bachelor party because he felt it was to expennsive and was not worried since his brother is from out of town and his wife and kids are coming in from out town they just bought a new house not to long ago, I am running out of time and I am starting to feel the pressure, people don't understand what its like when you have so much to do and so little money to do it I don't want to have keep spending more and more, alot of my family expects this wedding to be huge and I 'm sorry I agreed to this because me and my finace just wanted a small cermony not alot of parties or gifts we have to keep scaling back and it seems like there is always more that we have to do or buy. If my bridesmaids can't agree on gowns renting was to expensive, and colors which we are paying for and they get to keep afterwards how can they agree on gifts thats why I suggested gift certificates let them buy whatever they want because they can't agree on anything worst of one of my bridesmaids is pregant and is dued anytime she has now refused to particpate because of it we knew that she was due before and she asked to be in the bridal party so we said alright as she is a old friend of mine, I just don't think I should have to keep spending money on others who can't decide on what to wear, We both have refused bridal registery because we had to pay for it in advance now my bridesmaids want me to shill out dollars for the bachlorette party as well as buy gifts for the party and wedding favors I don't want all this stuff because my folks paid for the reception partly that covers the cake and the flowers and the food in one place, its bad enough we have to keep paying for everything else,as well as help pay for the receptions , I do not know what to do any help here thanks? Is it nessacary to have all of these parties? Can we just go with a reception I want this to be less stress out and quite having to spend money I don't have. Thanks
(This post was
edited by KittyKat on Jan 28, 2005, 4:19 AM)
Re: [truelove] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
thanks
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Jan 28, 2005, 7:38 AM
Post #4 of 9
(5574 views)
Re: [truelove] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
Dear KittyKat,
You need to set limits on yourself. You are not (unless agreed) responsible for paying for their dresses, that said, apparently you've agreed to do that. Now you can't get them to agree so you make the choice and they have to go along with it. A bride should definitely not have to pay for her own bachelorette party.
You need to do as TrueLove suggests and sit down and breath and understand that you are having this wedding to celebrate your love for each other and allow yourself the option of setting limits. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 28, 2005, 11:27 AM
Post #5 of 9
(5568 views)
Re: [KittyKat] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
Absolutely! I completely agree with Ms. Tucker. You really do not have to pay for the dresses, but for some reason are. Even though these roles have been reversed somehow, please do not allow your bridesmaids to dictate to you what the dresses will be. You decide on the theme and look of your wedding, the dresses reflect this.
And, as for the parties, you are not to pay for any of them. If no one want to host the parties, then you have no problems.
You may have to get a big boot out and put in down. But, before that... relax. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 28, 2005, 11:54 AM
Post #6 of 9
(5568 views)
Re: [KittyKat] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
I understand where everyone is on this "bridesmaids dresses" issue but do try to remember that these women have to appear in public in these clothes and will not want to be embarassed. As long as you select appropriate styles that will suit all of their body types (no overweight or overly ample busted women in halters or strapless numbers!) then they should be satisfied. Speak to the dress shop owner where you're making the purchase and ask for her advice. If you are buying online then If your bridal party consists of women in varying sizes and shapes the A-Line or empire waist styles work best for most body types.
If you still have issues then select a color and fabric and allow each woman a choice of 2 or 3 styles. Having them all in the same color and similar styles will create the look of continuity. Personally, I amm better with choices when there are only a few to choose from! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 28, 2005, 11:59 AM)
Khrys
Deleted
Jan 28, 2005, 12:26 PM
Post #7 of 9
(5563 views)
Re: [KittyKat] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
KittyKat: I agree wholeheartedly with the advice given. The first thing you and hubby-to-be should do is take a deep breath, okay maybe another :) Second, remember it is your wedding. It appears that the two of you may not have discussed the particulars of the wedding, therefore everyone else is following their own agenda. Planning is your responsibility, and once a plan is together, it will be much easier to see what is and what is not in alignment with your goals. Although things are a bit chaotic now, it is not too late to regain the reigns and bring things into order. Not only will the unnecessary headaches be avoided, but it will be clear to all involved exactly what their roles and choices are. Good luck to you both!
amsims2
Feb 8, 2005, 4:01 PM
Post #8 of 9
(5322 views)
Re: [KittyKat] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
Two words: Vegas, baby. Get your deposits back, tell your family & friends the date your getting married, and if they would like to join you in celebration, they are on their own. There is no way you should let something as wonderful as starting your life with someone you love be so stressful. I speak from experience. Good luck!
peggy7670
Feb 22, 2005, 9:27 AM
Post #9 of 9
(5130 views)
Re: [KittyKat] Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
[In reply to]
KittyKat,
YOU POOR THING! I agree with all the advice here. Tell your bridesmaids to make a decision or you will do it for them (I have never heard of the bride paying for this either unless it was a secial circumstance) You should be in control of color no matter what keeping in mind all their different coloring. Also tell them they are stressing you out way too much and turning your pecial day into a nightmare. They OUGHT to be ashamed of themselves behaving this way! They don't have to be in the wedding, their choice!
About the Bachlorette party. Tell them you don't want one. ( I have never heard of a bride paying for this either, are they also making you pay for your shower) I realise these women must be close friends to you to even be in your wedding party so I don't mean any insult.
Remember COMMUNICATE your feelings on this and if they are the friends you beeive them to be then they should "straighten up"
Help !! Please. This is getting way to expensive I don't have the money For all this and I'm stressed out!,...
