Re: [Truella] Catholic wedding ceremony when we don't agree with Catholic teachings
[In reply to]
Dear Truella,
You are making a huge amount of assumptions about the priest the church and what they believe. First, you need to talk all of this over with your fiance, then decide what route to take. It's your wedding, not Mom, Dad and the Grandparents. If you decide to approach the local priest be honest about your feelings, the kind of questions you want answered are why many of us went to seminary.
I can guess what the RCIA clergy is going to say but keep in mind that most of us who are members of the clergy aren't looking for opportunities to beat people over the head with the bible. But we do love a heart with honest questions. If the answer is no, then at least you were honest about it.
Re: [Fr. Anderson] Catholic wedding ceremony when we don't agree with Catholic teachings
[In reply to]
This was the original question that was deletd but the user which is not allowed under our forum rules:
My fiance and I were baptized, raised catholic, confirmed, etc. We are both spiritual and believe in God, however, neither could really be considered practicing catholics. This is mostly due to the fact that we do not agree with some of the teachings of the religion, particularly to do with gays. My sister, with whom I am VERY close, and my best friend (of 15+ yrs) are sharing MOH duties. They are both gay and they are both very important to me.
When we got engaged, my fiance's parents assumed we would get married in a church and contacted their (our) hometown priest (we both belonged to the same church when we were practicing). My fiance says he doesn't really care if we get married in a church or not, either is fine with him. My parents are happy to have a catholic ceremony, but not as adamant about it. Because I love his parents, my parents and our grandparents, I would have a catholic ceremony, pretty much FOR THEM. However, I do NOT want to put myself in a position of having to lie to a priest about my beliefs, and now I've read that I will have to promise to raise any future children as catholic, which I haven't decided I truly want to do.
Not only that, but I feel like a huge hypocrite getting married by someone who does not accept my sister's and best friend's rights to be married or have love with their same-sex partners. And hypocritical, because there is no way I would be able to live my life with all the ideals that catholicism teaches. I would feel like I am going against my beliefs. Another issue is that my fiance and I live together, which is considered a sin.
Our mothers have told us today, that we should "compromise" and think of other people's feelings, but I don't think they're thinking of mine, nor of my MOH's... I know his parents are not supportive of gays or gay marriage, so I'm pretty sure they wouldn't care anyway... I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I just don't know what to do.
My question is, because of my doubts in the religion on the subject of gays, raising children, and living together premaritally, are we even eligible to have a catholic ceremony in a catholic church? or would I be turned away for my beliefs?
Dear Father Anderson,
I've read your reply and reread my own posting and I agree that I may have been overly presumptuous. I appreciate your bringing that to my attention and appreciate your thoughtful response and advice. I look forward to meeting with the priest and being honest with him.
There are so many wonderful things about the catholic religion, I never meant to imply otherwise.
Thank you again for your time and thoughtful advice. Truella.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 26, 2008, 10:02 AM)
Post deleted by Truella
