I am getting married in 4 weeks and we are in the process of finalizing our guest list. We are getting married on a military base, so we had to collect vehicle information for every guest attending the wedding. My fiancee's cousin sent us her vehicle information, and the license plate read "ATHEISM". It appears to us that her husband is an atheist; she grew up in a very religious family.
I have a huge problem with this. I won't bother to discuss my lack of an ability to understand this belief, or lack thereof. However, I do think this will be extremely offensive and disrespectful to my guests.
What should I do? I don't know the guy, so I feel like contacting him and telling him to forget about showing up. I could also contact him and tell him to drive a different car.
It appears as if this person has already been invited if you had to ask for his plate number and there is only 4 weeks before your wedding. If so, disinviting him based on his belief system is not polite. In fact, this could be labeled as bigoted, which isn't a favorable label. So, it is best not to acknowledge the plate.
But, if you really feel that your guests are going to go through the parking lot to read other's licence plates, then I suppose the person closest to him could ask him if he could either ride with someone else or choose another car based on your belief that some will be offended by another's belief. Other than that, you have invited him, he hasn't changed from the time you invited him, so he shouldn't be disinvited based on his lack of religion.
The golden rule applies to believers and unbelievers!
You may contact our cousin, but go gently, dear friend. If a judgmental attitude comes through, they may be hurt and offended. They may even react badly.
You could say something to this effect:
"We need to speak with you about a very sensitive issue. While we respect all peoples' right to their own feelings and beliefs, we are pretty sure that a license plate that reads ATHEISM will upset and may even offend many of our guests as we come from a very religious family. Therefore, is it possible that you can come to the wedding in a different car for the sake of maintaining peace on our wedding day?"
Have someone at the ready to offer to park his car - far away or backed into a spot where the plate cannot be read.
Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. His beliefs are not a relection on yours. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Oct 1, 2008, 11:44 AM)
Great advice. I certainly do not consider myself a bigot, and do not want to appear as such. However, personally I cannot understand why this person wants to advertise this on his license plate. I can't help but feeling a bit unhappy knowing an atheist will be attending my wedding! And yes, it will be extremely embarrassing to me if the minister happens to see this license plate in the parking lot. I don't wish any harm to this person nor would I ever openly pass judgement on him. I just don't want him at my wedding. Too late now.
Atheist attending the wedding
