Non Religious Ceremony and the stress it is causing
I have a few issues and I don't know which forum to post in so I will try my luck here. My Fiance is Catholic and I am Jewish, neither of us are terribly religious but we respect one anothers upbringing. My father passed away 4 years ago and my mother is a pretty emotional woman. My Fiance's family is funding our wedding. My mother can not afford to do much. My Fiance and I are doing ALL of the planning and we are not incorporating any cultural or religious anything so that no one gets upset that one side had more than the other. My problem is with my mother. She is feeling left out. She came with me to look @ dresses and she paid for the one I chose which was wonderful. She came to pick out Bridesmaid's Dresses. I have filled her in on choices we make as we make them. The problem is that she hasn't agreed with most of the choices and has challenged me. She feels she is giving suggestions and I feel she is being demanding and critical. I have listened to her and with some things tried to be accommodating and with others have listened and stated that I will be keeping with the decisions I made. I can't change everything to what will make her happy. To be realistic I anticipated slight problems, the battles that have ensued were not what I had envisioned. Some of it is a power struggle because I have made so many choices based on what will make her happy and for my own sake I can not do that anymore. Where she will always be my mother I will be starting my own family and decisions will have to be about what is best for us. My mom feels bad about not being able to help financially, she is nervous about me no longer living with her and I think she feels that his parents are having a say when the aren't. My future in-laws are being informed of decisions the exact same way that my mom is and they are essentially saying (whether they agree or not) "whatever makes you happy, you do" I don't want to start my married life out battling my mother but I don't know what to do. There is very little that will make her happy and it is causing me great emotional stress. The wedding itself isn't the be-all and end-all. It is a party to celebrate what's important, the union of my Fiance and I and the beginning of the our new life together. That is what it should be about. I don't know how to alleviate this situation and I don't want to have a bad relationship with my mom but I also can't continue to do whatever she wants me to. Sorry if this is the wrong forum.
I appreciate your help.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Mar 16, 2006, 7:24 PM
Post #2 of 2
(993 views)
Re: [makeupgirl] Non Religious Ceremony and the stress it is causing
[In reply to]
You're right - this is the religious forum and your questioin is not of a religious nature.
But, neither is it etiquette based so I can only suggest you seek out a relationship counselor. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Non Religious Ceremony and the stress it is causing
