Will catholic church marry uus if we don't agree to raise our children Catholic?
I was born and raised Catholic and my fiance is Lutheran but recently has strayed from that to more of a non-denominational church. I am not totally 100% for the Catholic church but my family is all Catholic and I know it is their preference. My fiance and I have talked and he was okay with going through the process to be married in the church until he heard that you have to sign something committing to raising your kids Catholic. We are not totally sure that that is something we are going to do and we don't want to lie and just sign it anyway. Does the church have any compromise in this area or will they just tell us we can't marry in the church then?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 11, 2009, 1:15 PM)
DennyandKay
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Will catholic church marry uus if we don't agree to raise our children Catholic?
[In reply to]
We are also an interchurch couple and understand your reluctance in this matter. It's a bit complicated, but we'll try to explain it the way a canon lawyer explained it to us.
The Catholic partner has to sign a paper signifying the intent (to do all you can) to raise any children in the Catholic faith. The phrase "do all you can" is better translated (from the original Latin) "do as you can." In other words, live your Catholic faith, take the kids to mass when you go, and expose them to the positive effects of the Catholic faith. It doesn't mean you have work two jobs in order to send them to Catholic school or run roughshod over your partner's wishes.
The non-Catholic partner signs below the Catholic partner's signature, showing that the intent is understood. He or she does NOT have to agree to raise the children Catholic. This means you can take the kids to your fiance's non-Catholic church and raise them with two supportive church communities. The children can be baptized with both priest and minister officiating and later confirmed in both churches, if you wish, but the registration needs to be filed at the Catholic Church. They usually keep better records anyway.
The Catholic Church has come a long way toward acceptance that other churches may have the same attitude toward raising children in a particular faith tradition and insistence on making the parents choose one over the other can cause undue harm in interchurch marriages. This is the official stance of the Church, according to the canon lawyer who explained it to us, although not every priest is amenable to it.
If your priest is not willing to be open to this aspect of your interchurch marriage, our advice is to find a priest who is.
Decide for yourself if you are marrying in the Church only to please your family but have no intention of following the Church's dictates. This would be a sham and could be detrimental to your marriage. A wedding is only one day, but your marriage will be forever.
Will catholic church marry uus if we don't agree to raise our children Catholic?
