My fiance and I have been cohabitating since September sort-of unexpectedly. We are having a baby in June and plan to parent the child. We began discussing marriage very shortly after I moved in with him however I had several reservations about the issue. While I still have my reservations I've chosen to set them asside for the sake of love. However, since the conception of our child-to-be after the head minister agreed to marry us, he has been removed from a ministorial position at his church and refuses to attend church or have any contact with his former staff mates feeling "stabbed in the back." While I'm allowing him to lick his own wounds I worry about the affect his bitterness towards God, church, and religion will have on our wedding and baby. How should I go about addressing this issue to him, his choice of officiant and mine?
Fr. Anderson
EPISCOPAL PRIEST
Sep 14, 2007, 9:29 AM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [lummen07] pre-marriage cohabitation and child-to-be
[In reply to]
Dear Lummen,
You have several issues at hand. The pregnancy, co-habitation, and a disgruntled minister. First and formost the child needs a mother and a father, married. Not just for the "biblical" issues regarding co-habitation but there are legal issues as well.
Love is about doing the right thing. Not just for one another, but for the new life you are bringing into the world. Waiting for your minister to get over his "crisis of faith" isn't your problem. Find someone else, or go to the courthouse and have a civil ceremony. A blessing by the church on your marriage can always be done afterwards. This way, you, your fiance and your baby can start life together on the right foot.
Re: [lummen07] pre-marriage cohabitation and child-to-be
[In reply to]
I would also like to add that you might want to consider some pre-marriage counseling since you mention that you are having reservations. Most churches will provide this service, but, if yours doesn't, seek some couples counseling before moving forward. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 14, 2007, 9:44 AM)
pre-marriage cohabitation and child-to-be
