My fiance and I met when she was married...we had an affair that ended her marriage. Her ex husband is open to reconcile but she is not. She has a child with him. She has since been divorced and we are now engaged. I'm worried that based on our sinful beginnings that our marriage can never be blessed. I know the lord forgives but that requires repentance. What should I do?
We are all sinners and Jesus died for our sins. Therefore, all sins can and will be forgiven if we are sorry and seek reconciliation with God.
I assume that you are truly sorry for your sinful beginning. God fogives the sins of those who have sought forgiveness and are truly sorry for their sin. One of the best ways to demonstrate that is never to commit the sinful act again, be loyal to your vows and to your wife.
If you are Catholic you should seek out a Priest and confess. Also, if you are Catholic, your wife's first marriage and any previous marriage you may have had will have to be annulled for the church to recognize your marriage.
If you are not Catholic I would still suggested speaking to a member of clergy of your faith who might be able to serve as a Spiritual Advisor to you on this issue.
Best wishes to you on this journey to reconcile. Bob Deacon Bob Tousey
Speaking to a clergymember of your faith may really help you in this regard.
In addition, here is suggestion: Pray earnestly, honestly---with all of your heart and soul. When you have reached a place where you can feel God's presence, go deep inside and ask "How may I atone for my sins, my wrongful actions?"
You now have an opportunity to be a living light of God's love within your marriage...an example of mutual love, respect, strength and fidelity. In this way, your marriage actually teaches/inspires others how to love. But perhaps you can go further, reconciling in some way with those you have wronged, if possible and at the right time. You can make this your intention---to atone. You can offer this intention up to God and wait for the opportunity. Atonement can come in various ways and forms.
Forgiveness begins with repentance. It begins with sincere intention. Atonement comes when we try to bring healing where there was hurt.
I agree with both Deacon Bob and Reverend Susanna. Forgiveness towards onself is indeed challenging and artwork all at the same time. Please seek the counsel of a therapist or Spiritual Advisor/Director - do this by yourself or with your fiancee'. Create a covenant for your upcoming marriage that you both agree to. Marriage is a marvelous opportunity for a spiritual partnership - base your upcoming marriage on sound principles, integrity and self-forgiveness and you are creating a beautiful foundation for your life together. Annemarie Juhlian, Wedding Officiant & Minister
the past
