My husband and I were planning to renew our vows in September. We had plans to exchange new rings since our first marriage was very small. We have a guest list of 175 and have sent out the invitations in July. The response due date is August 11, 2005 and so far some response has come in. However, after careful consideration, we decided not to renew our vows anymore. Instead we want to have a very private dinner with just immediately family as we exchange rings. We will also take a very romantic honeymoon since we did not have one ten years ago. My question is, how can I recall the original invitation without looking stupid? what would be the best wording to use? Can I use my "Thank you note card" to hand write my cancellation of the celebration? What is your opinion?
It would be best to send formal cancellation notes to your guests since they were formally invited. These could be computer generated and very simply worded. Just inform your guests that you appreciate their support, but have decided not to have a vow renewal ceremony. Let them know that you and your husband have decided that you didn't need to have a ceremony to renew your promises to each other--you can do this with a kiss.
I'm sure you could probably word this better than me, but this is a good place to begin.
Best wishes and enjoy that honeymoon! Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Thank you very much for your advice. Although we were considering calling off the event, we have instead decided to do it. However we have down sized the guest list quite a bit. We lowered our minimum of 150 to 100 at our venue. We have already received responses totalling 100 people from both family and friends by the due date. We did not receive responses from about 60 people mostly family by the due date. How do I cut these family members off my list. Should I wait to get there responses then tell them that they missed the deadline, we finalized our guest list already or should I just send a letter to all who did not reply letter them know that I had a deadline with the venue and total guest has been finalized which includes only all guest who replied by deadline? I've drafted this letter:
Dear family and friends,
As stated in the invitations which were mailed out on July 12, 2005, the deadline for the response card was August 11, 2005. As off this day, your reply has not been received. Unfortunately, my deadline to submit the final count was August 13, 2005. Therefore, I have finalized my contract with (venue).
I’m sorry you were unable to commit to our 10th Anniversary celebration. Hopefully you’ll be able to celebrate with us next time. Thanks again for your support. What is the best way to approach this situation?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 15, 2005, 11:04 AM)
Once the guests have been invited, they cannot be uninvited if you are still having the event. So, down sizing the list doesn't mean that these people are not invited anymore.
This is one of the biggest problems when organizing these events. So many just don't reply, but may attend. Sending a letter stating that they missed the boat isn't appropriate though. This is usually handled through a third party. That third party calls the guests to find out if they are coming and tells them that you have to have an accurate list as of today. Then the person will know that they are out. It just isn't appropriate for you to do this. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
10th Anniversary Renewal of Vows celebration
