Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
We got married before our 1st son was born, a year and a half ago, so my name would be the same on his birth certificate. We promised to have our wedding the next year. I then got pregnant with our 2nd son 6 months later. We are having our wedding with family and friends in June, but I want to know if it is wrong to have a bridal shower before our wedding ceremony since I didn't have one before we legally said our vows?
(This post was
edited by Niki on Mar 11, 2005, 9:50 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 7
(3168 views)
Re: [Niki] Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
[In reply to]
Dear Already Married,
Sorry, but to have a bridal shower for a vow renewal would be a big no-no. You are already married. Your ceremony will be a reaffirmation or renewal of your wedding vows. It can be very similar to a wedding. But, showers are for the bride to be.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
[In reply to]
I'm not sure I understand why you think it is wrong! We said our vows, but this is my "big" wedding, I have always dreamed of. This is the first man I have married, so why should I get excluded from the bridal shower all brides receive before their wedding? Under our circumstances with getting married in the first place, I think I should still get to feel like a bride, with all the trimmings.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #4 of 7
(3142 views)
Re: [Niki] Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
[In reply to]
Traditionally, the bridal shower was set into place to "shower the bride" with gifts to set up a household. Since you have already done this and have been living together as husband and wife you are not in need of this service.
You have asked for etiquette advice and this is what is considered socially acceptable. Of course, you can choose to do whatever you like but keep in mind that you may be offending those who subscribe to what is generally considered proper. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
flowersue
WEDDING FLOWERS PRO
Post #5 of 7
(3137 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
[In reply to]
Well I think you have got your answer as far as proper ettiquette is concerned. I will tell you what my experience as a busy wedding florist is. I have indeed done many weddings for couples who already have children...Have lived together for a long time and all sorts of other combinations. In cases of this type big weddings are sometimes done...But are entirely paid for and presented by the couple. Do not expect your friends and family to pay for expensive formal showers or a big wedding for you. In fact it would be appropriate for you to inform your friends and parents that you do not expect them to do that. Anything that may be provided to you by them has to be 100% their idea and given because they want to ...not because you feel entitled to have it all. At this point you are welcome to have it all...But only if you are willing to provide it for yourself... If you can do that by all means do and enjoy the celebration...All the best... Sue of Hobart's Fine Florals http://www.hobartsfineflorals.com
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #6 of 7
(3131 views)
Re: [flowersue] Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
[In reply to]
Note: Bridal showers or any sort of gift giving type event should never be hosted by the recipient of the gifts. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
flowersue
WEDDING FLOWERS PRO
Post #7 of 7
(3121 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
[In reply to]
Oh no..I did not mean to imply that it was ok to give yourself a bridal shower...That has to be someone elses idea and should never be expected...Sorry if there was confusion... Sue of Hobart's Fine Florals http://www.hobartsfineflorals.com
Already married, is it wrong to have a bridal shower before we have our wedding?
Well I think you have got your answer as far as proper ettiquette is concerned. I will tell you what my experience as a busy wedding florist is. I have indeed done many weddings for couples who already have children...Have lived together for a long time and all sorts of other combinations. In cases of this type big weddings are sometimes done...But are entirely paid for and presented by the couple. Do not expect your friends and family to pay for expensive formal showers or a big wedding for you. In fact it would be appropriate for you to inform your friends and parents that you do not expect them to do that. Anything that may be provided to you by them has to be 100% their idea and given because they want to ...not because you feel entitled to have it all. At this point you are welcome to have it all...But only if you are willing to provide it for yourself... If you can do that by all means do and enjoy the celebration...All the best... 