My husband and I are renewing our vows after ten years of marriage. We were not married in a church the first time, it was only in front of the justice of the peace and we had a reception afterwards all in the same place. I did have a sort of informal wedding dress that I did not get to pick out, but I was just so happy to be saying I do to him, I did not care. I was only 16 and my husband was 19, and he was in the marine corps. My parents could not afford much, and no priest would marry a 16 year old, even though I had my parents consent. Now, we have been planning to renew our vows for our tenth anniversary for almost two years. I have been planning it sort of big. Our priest says it should be the wedding I always dreamed of. The only things I'm not doing is I'm not having a train, veil, I will wear a crown, my dress is a darker ivory with red embroidery, we going to only have our original matron of honor and best man, and our three little boys, we are not having the dollar dance (although I really would like to) , and instead of throwing the garter and bouquet, we are giving it to the longest couple married. We are even renting a limo for the day. My only problem is that my husbands parents keep on trying to talk us out of it, just like they did to my husband when we were getting married. They keep on saying they don't get why we are doing it and we are going to look foolish. I think it's going to look like I am still head over heals in love with their son after ten years of marriage, which I think is pretty great these days. So any advice on what to do or how to handle this, because it is making me sick and taking the fun out of all this. I thought this could be so much fun making everything for our anniversary and planning everything, but they really stress me out and I worry that they will say something to one of us there or start nagging on us to try and get us to cancel when it gets closer to the date. Also, what stuff do you do at the reception, do you do the dollar dance, the father/daughter dance, and is it appropriate for the garter to get taken off of the "bride." Please help!!!
(This post was
edited by marlana1 on Jan 3, 2005, 8:39 PM)
I'm with your priest on this one...have the wedding you want. Ask your husband to have a talk with his parents and tell them that you are no longer 16 and, although you value their care for you, that you would appreciate it of they allowed you to make this adult decision on your own. Tell them they should come to the party and celebrate your successful 10 year marriage, which IS something to celebrate! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Try not to let them rain on your parade! You both have a great deal to celebrate. Could your husband have a quiet word with them? Perhaps they dont realise how much their comments are affecting you. Plan it any way you want - I can see you have given the day a great deal of thought. Of course, with your lovely children by your side, it is also a family wedding. So consider this when you plan the dances.
Have a wonderful day! Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Desperately seeking advice
