Our wedding last month was kind of a joke. Out of the 120 people who RSVP'd that they would be at our wedding, 32 showed up (the weather was beautiful). 3 of these showed up in the middle of the ceremony and actually walked nearly halfway down the aisle behind me. our cake was made by the mother of the groom, and turned out to be what she wanted rather than what we wanted. our magistrate decided to speak as if our wedding was on a gameshow (something we had no clue he was going to do because he canceled our two attemts of a rehearsal), and of the 32 guests there, we received gifts from 4 of them, and for some reason, the mother of the groom won't speak to us because the wedding was such a flop. We feel pretty jipped. I promised my husband i wouldn't let anything ruin our wedding day, so i grit my teeth and got through it, and thank god we had a wonderful honeymoon. My parents had a bad experience at their wedding as well, although theirs was more violent than depressing, but i see what a bad wedding does to a couple, and i don't want that to happen to us. it's already starting to eat at us, and rather than comforting each other, we're starting to take it out on one another. I want to have a vow renewal as soon as possible before it gobbles us up! But how soon is too soon?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 10, 2006, 7:58 AM)
A wedding is simply an event. Sure, it means a lot to the couple and their families, as it should. But, it is just an event. If yours didn't turn out as you would like, there is no way to know if another ceremony would be any better. What if this one is a flop also?
You may have a vow renewal any time. But, it isn't a do-over. It should be planned well in order for it to be taken seriously and in good taste. Please read our many posts concerning this and the etiquette involved.
I agree. A wedding doesn't make a marriage - the couple makes the marriage. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
PU
Post #4 of 5
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Re: [TWQadmin] How soon is too soon?
[In reply to]
Well, we are planning to move out of state in early 2007 after my husband finishes school. I was hoping to have a few months to make new friends, and have our vow renewal then. I read that people have vow renewals when something major in their life happens, and they would like to start a new life, and I thought moving to a new state and having new careers and new friends and new hopes and everything might also call for a vow renewal. We were also involved in a car wreck the week after the honeymoon, and we're hoping to get our settlement and be finished with all this stress by the time we move. But I just didn't want our families (if his is even talking to us by then) to question us for having a vow renewal after a year to a year and a half, rather than 10 years or 25 years or whatever.
The life altering types of changes that usually spur on a vow renewal are issues such as one spouse surviving a long battle with cancer, one partner arriving back home safely after serving in the military, getting back together after a devastating breakup, the death of a child...The sorts of life changes that you are describing are pretty typical events.
Although there really is no rule on the amount of time that passes you should use common sense when planning a vow renewal since, as Rebecca suggested, you'll want the event to be viewed positively and not as a "do-over" of your wedding because it didn't go as planned.
Hopefully, one day in the very near future, you can look back on your wedding day and see the positive aspects and what the focus really was - you and your husband standing before each other professing your love and commitment. That, my friend, is the wedding, not the cake or the gifts. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 10, 2006, 7:59 AM)
How soon is too soon for a vow renewal?
