My husband and I were married last year very quickly. We were expecting a child and my husband was being deployed to Iraq. We bascially did the paperwork and had some witnesses. 2 weeks after this I went into pre-term labor and delievered. We lost the baby and my husband was discharged out of the military on a hardship discharge. We are wanting to start over and do it right. We are wanting to have a traditional wedding, how should we word the invitaions?
Although I am sorry to hear of your trouble, you are already married and therefore, a wedding would not be appropriate. However, you can have a vow renewal (or, if you want to have a service in church, a blessing of your marriage) which will allow you to exchange vows in the presence of your family and friends. You may even host a reception-like party afterwards. This should be planned carefully to ensure that your event is perceived as it was intended and not as a way to aquire gifts. We get many posts and complaints from guests invited to these sorts of events.
Etiquette may come in handy when it keeps people from chewing with their mouths open, but to use it as a way to make the MANY members of the U.S. Military (myself included) feel cheap for having to have a civil service ceremony and still have a dream "wedding" is appalling to me. I was at a loss as to what to do myself, since my husband and I didn't even exchange vows- we did a marriage-by-proxy, since we are both deployed to Iraq. My grandfather, who is a minister, will be performing our ceremony when we get back from our deployment. I am wearing the dress, we are having the party, and no one that I have spoken to yet has given me a single dirty look. I've read so many of these posts, and seen nothing but negativity in every single reply, so I thought I'd give a little positive reinforcement to a fellow member of the Armed Forces. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting every little girl's dream- you and your husband deserve it after risking his life for this great country of ours. I hope this helps you a little, and God bless!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 14, 2006, 7:21 PM)
I think you are a bit confused. For one, this is not a chat room where people can give others incorrect advice which could create embarrassment for themselves and their family. For another, etiquette is a set of rules most of us abide by to create a civilized society. You definitely have the choice of 'doing the right thing' or doing it your way (making it up as you go).
It is your choice to go ahead with your plans without a nod toward what others may think. However, most of us consider how our actions may affect others. Hopefully yours won't cause anyone any discomfort. Even though you don't "see a single dirty look" doesn't mean others aren't feeling that your plans are not right.
And, please try to think logically. A wife is not a bride. You are already married. The proper ceremony isn't a wedding. The vow renewal can be very special and even more unique than a wedding. No one here is trying to make anyone feel badly. We inform. We don't 'make things up'. That would be hurtful. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Invitations
