Is my wedding vow renewal ceremony inappropriate??
My husband and I are planning a vow renewal for our 3rd anniversary. We both very much want a fairly elaborate event to surround our celebration - very much like a wedding. I've visited the I Do Take Two site, and we plan to exclude attendants, bouquet and garter tosses, and to make clear that we are not accepting gifts. However I do want to make an entrance in a stunning bridal gown (no veil), and follow up with a formal reception with dinner, dancing (no 'traditional' wedding dances), and a tiered cake. I am aware that this is generally deemed a no-no, but please consider our situation:
1. For immigration reasons we had to marry quickly. We were already engaged, but unless we wanted to live in separate countries for the years it would have taken us to save up enough for the wedding we both wanted, we really had no choice. We married after a month of planning on a $1500 budget. The only family of mine that could attend was my mother and step-father, and brother and sister-in-law. We couldn't even afford a photographer and have no decent pictures to show our future children.
2. After almost a year of marriage we hit a rocky spot and separated for just over a year. We've now worked on our own issues and worked together to reconcile and we feel this celebration will help us mark the beginning of a fresh start.
We plan to host this in Canada so that my entire family can be involved this time. While I know that all this isn't entirely appropriate, exactly how inappropriate is it? If its only mildly so then we won't really mind too much because its what we both want. However if it may cause one to scream "How ridiculous! Where is your head woman?!" we may certainly consider scaling it down. My husband even offered to file for divorce so it could be a 'real' wedding, but I don't feel this should be necessary.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 22, 2007, 9:04 AM)
Etiquette is much about common sense. So, imagine what you'd think of a woman who was already married walking down an aisle wearing a bridal gown. Personally, I'd select a beautiful gown to match the formality of my event, but not one that made me look like a bride. It's a shame that you had to get married so quickly and missed on on being that bride, but, you're not a bride now and shouldn't dress as one.
All the other things you've mentioned seem appropriate. But you don't have to let people know that you're not expecting gifts since a vow renewal is not a gift giving event anyway.
Congratulations for getting over your rough spot and making your marriage work. Have a wonderful renewal. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Is my wedding vow renewal ceremony inappropriate??
Personally, I'd select a beautiful gown to match the formality of my event, but not one that made me look like a bride. It's a shame that you had to get married so quickly and missed on on being that bride, but, you're not a bride now and shouldn't dress as one. 
