Hello! I know it isnt proper to have a wedding ceremony when renewing wedding vows, however, let me start off by explaining what we are doing and then I would like your opinion on whether it sounds like a wedding or vow renewal.
My husband, children and I are all walking down the aisle along with three nieces who will be flower girls. I am wearing a white wedding dress. The invitations state it is a vow renewal and I will let people know word of mouth that no gift giving is necessary. Afterwards we are having a reception/anniversary party. We will not be having a bouquet toss, garter toss, first dance, etc. I know it seems semi wedding, semi not. We are also doing the very exact day of our anniversary, so is it oaky if we put up a card box just in case people want to bring cards or will that look like we were expecting something? I do not want to come off that way at all! Everyone knows this is a very small renewal, however, it will have some wedding elements. I am getting a wedding cake, wearing a wedding dress, having flower girls, but the reception is more toned down for an anniversary party. We absolutely want NO gifts, just a little ceremony to have what we didn't have the first time around, and to be able to treat our loved ones to a fun night! How does all of this sound to you? And dont worry, I wont be offended. We are doing what we want, I just wanted an experts advice. Personally, I dont think we will be offending anyone at all by having some wedding elements to it, because everyone invited is so happy for us to be doing this. And once again, we want NO gifts, and we will be telling everyone. I read somewhere that it is improper to add that to the invitation, so to do it by mouth.
Ok, thanks for listening, I cant wait to hear your opinion.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 14, 2007, 8:44 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 15, 2007, 3:25 PM
Post #2 of 2
(669 views)
Re: [jenihersh26] Is this a wedding or a vow renewal?
[In reply to]
Dear Jenihersh,
You are going in the right direction, but you just have a few bumps along that road. If it appears to be a wedding, it just may be interpreted as one. Even if everyone seems to be excited, they may be thinking something entirely different. It may be difficult for them to be honest. You seem much too nice to say something that may hurt your feelings.
A wedding dress is reserved for a bride. If this is your wedding dress, that would be different. It would be like revisiting those elements from your wedding--like the anniversary party it is supposed to be. If you wear a wedding dress and include flower girls, it could appear to others that you wanted to play princess for a day. It doesn't seem like this is what you want or what you would want in other's minds.
The wedding cake is another 'wedding' element reserved for brides and grooms. An anniversary cake would be much better. It can be very pretty and special. So, can your ceremony!
All of you walking down the aisle together sounds perfect. Instead of the nieces as flower girls, why not just family joining with you to reaffirm your marriage? Instead of a wedding dress, why not a very nice cocktail dress? There are so many beautiful dresses these days. There are always ways to make this seem appropriate and still very, very special. In fact, because it isn't a wedding, you have many more choices. You can include elements that are uniquely yours, because you invented it.
Is this a wedding or a vow renewal?
