my husband and i got married 1 1/2 years ago by the JP, not many people there, we told our friend that we had our reasons to sneak of to the JP, now in May 2006 we are having an "official" wedding, in a small historical church and a big reception to follow. We have told everyone that this is our wedding and this is the date we will be celebrating from now on. My question is, is this still considered renewing our vows? or is this a church blessing? how do we go about it, im having bridesmaids and the whole nine yards.... do i need to address in the invitations that it is a celebration of our marriage? im kind of lost!
As you said, you are married. Even if you were married by a JP, you are married. It is "official". So, this would be a vow renewal or a blessing of your marriage by the church.
A celebration of your marriage would be a wedding reception, which it is a bit late to host.
Both of these events include the same etiquette. Both are not considered gift giving events, unless it is a vow renewal ceremony for a bench mark anniversary.
A blessing of your marriage is supposed to be a quiet family (perhaps a few close friends) event with your offiate. This is something you would want to discuss with your clergy person. Some won't even perform this, so be very careful with your plans.
A vow renewal is supposed to be an event to reaffirm your vows to each other in the company of close friends and family. It is not supposed to be a wedding. After all you are married. When couples create a wedding-like event it is typically viewed very negatively by their guests. I cannot tell you how many people have contacted me about their true feelings concerning this issue. None have shared these with the couples, which is unfortunate.
I wouldn't want you or anyone else to feel that kind of embarrassment.
I have replied to many posts about vow renewals. Please read these. There are many. Also, it may help to read some books on the subject. It wouldn't take long because not many have much to say on vow renewals being treated as weddings.
The book many regard as a wedding bible, Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, by Peggy Post is enlightening, as is, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette, by Mary Mitchell. Both are new books. So, this isn't old thinking.
Bridesmaids are attendants for weddings. A husband and wife don't typically have attendants unless they are joining them from the couple's wedding. But, they are usually just guests.
Thank you for asking about this before you have many plans in place. It is so much easier to plan when you know the direction you need to travel.
You may be interested in reading this questionwhich was just posted on the forum by a wedding guest.
Once you read it you will begin to understand the guest's perspective. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Married by the JP
