My husband and I have been married since february, we got married kinda all of the sudden without any notice, just because. My parents have no idea we have been married this long and we are getting remarried on our 1 year anniversary like it is the original BIG wedding. So...what is the rule about that, do I have to have a priest preside or do I have to get another license? Can I make it look real without having to fess up that it is a vow renewal? Thank you for your help.
Deacon Bob
INDEPENDANT CATHOLIC DEACON
Jun 29, 2006, 4:18 AM
Post #2 of 4
(954 views)
Re: [Stephyjmu05] Renewal but Parents don't know
[In reply to]
You do not get another license. You are already legally married. The rest is up to you. If you want a religious blessing of your wedding you might want a Priest, Deacon or other religious officiant. If that is not important to you --- you can have whoever you like officiate. I wish you the best. God Bless, Bob Deacon Bob Tousey
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 29, 2006, 10:24 AM
Post #3 of 4
(945 views)
Re: [Stephyjmu05] Renewal but Parents don't know
[In reply to]
In view of proper etiquette, you are already married and this should be a vow renewal. It isn't considered polite or proper to pretend that this is a wedding.
Just look at this logically. You are already married. Can a wife be a bride? Can you really get married twice without getting a divorce between the two ceremonies? It was your decision to get married when you did. When we elope we give up certain elements of the wedding.
What you want to do is to create a gift giving situation for yourself. Your family would be treating this as a wedding. Maybe they would even want to pay for this. There would be talk of showers, bachelorette party, and registering for gifts. This is deceptive and not appropriate.
So yes, it is your choice in what you do. But, typically something like this is found out. Consider how you and your family will feel when it is. Consider what you would be doing to your family.
Please read more about vow renewal etiquette. And, please read our many post considering this.
You should hear how others perceive this. It isn't pretty. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jun 29, 2006, 11:27 AM
Post #4 of 4
(940 views)
Re: [Stephyjmu05] Renewal but Parents don't know
[In reply to]
Do you really want to start off your new life together with a lie? Bad karma...
Plus, as Rebecca suggested, what do you do when they eventually find out? I tell my kids, and they have discovered this to be true, that I may not know now, but I will know eventually. Better to come clean and start fresh.
Tell your parents, have a blessing of your marriage with the church of your choice )of course, check with your clergy to see what sort of ceremony they suggest) and then have a grand celebration to follow. You can have (almost) all of the same aspects of a wedding reception and still have a ball. Use common sense to determine if any particular portion of your reception will be viewed positively. Bachelorette parties and garter tosses are a few of the parts of the reception that should seem odd since you've already been ,living together as husband and wife.
Consider this famous quote:
“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.”
Good luck with your decision. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 29, 2006, 11:31 AM)
Renewal but Parents don't know
