My new husband and I were married this past April. (Hence my screen name) and it was horrible. We pushed the wedding up a year so his dear father could attend. The doctors didn't give him much longer. (He died October 2nd from Cancer)
We were so happy that he was able to attend but our wedding was cut short.. Everything that could of went wrong.. DID. My dream wedding went down the drain and I hate the fact that my guests didn't have a good time what so ever.
My hubby and I decided to renew on our 5th year anniversary. (I'm a planner so I'm already starting!!) We're planning on over 100 people. (Had 29 at the first one very informal..)
I found a great site, a place where we originally wanted to be married. But hey.. We didn't have 10grand lying around back in April lol!!
I found a dress I'd like to wear. I'm not a veil person so no veil. But the dress I love is white. I don't mind wearing white. It's very simple and very me.
My attendants will be almost like my first wedding. My first I had my sister as my MOH and my 3 nieces. The 2nd will be both of my sisters and that's it. And whomever DH decides to ask.
The budget that we see calls for a HUGE buffet at the venue. Open bar for 5 hours.. Venetian table ect..
I pretty much have all of my centerpieces chosen, our favors, the wedding photographer and so forth. No deposits are down but again I'm a planner lol!
Do you think a vow renewal is cause for a rehearsal dinner? Who should we invite?
We were married by a JP (That wore JEANS BTW!!! Who also changed my vows around and went with horrible vows. Got into a fight with my 17 year old niece and myself just before he married us. It was part 1 of a disasterous day) at a beautiful park with a huge lake.
I'm not Catholic but DH's aunts who are like his second parents (Since both of his are now deceased, both from Cancer ) They want to see us remarry in the Catholic Church. I have no problem with that as long as I do not have to convert. So if we had a Catholic ceremony that will make it more formal which is fine because that's what I always dreamed.
My dad walked me down the 'aisle' in the first one.. JP really ruined that moment as well.. Should he walk me down again?
This turned into a very long detailed vent post but I only had a few questions.. I don't care what etiquette says. I want to renew our vows. It's not for the presents since I refuse to register and it's not for the spotlight to be on me.. Well kinda about the spotlight! I want the guests that I was not able to invite due to lack of $$ to enjoy and experience a great event. I want to ease my mind since my first wedding pretty much tramatized me!!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 24, 2005, 9:12 AM
Post #2 of 5
(1272 views)
Re: [Dee042905] Renewing after 5 years.. :)
[In reply to]
Dear Dee:
If you don't care about etiquette then I'm afraid we cannot help you since our answers would be based on what is considered to be socially acceptable.
I'm not quite certain what you're looking for from us.
Perhaps you should consult with your clergy.
Good luck with your planning. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Dee042905
Jan 5, 2006, 8:18 PM
Post #3 of 5
(1169 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Renewing after 5 years.. :)
[In reply to]
According to all the other posts and replies about vow renewal, I don't see what I'm doing wrong etiquette wise.
By the time we reknew we will have kids so I want to incorporate them.
We will remarry in a Catholic Church *His families wishes. Not mine since I'm Pagan. But I don't mind.*
My father will not be walking me down the aisle.
I will not be registering nor will be requesting gifts.
The venue we love is on the beach and very well known for their events. We love the idea of a buffet with Venetian table. It includes a cake otherwise we'd just stick with the table. (No cake cutting)
We love the idea of favors but something simple like truffles and a donation to the American Cancer Society. It will be our 10th anniversary together by that time so.. Any advice you can give me would be nice.
Dee
In Reply To
Dear Dee:
If you don't care about etiquette then I'm afraid we cannot help you since our answers would be based on what is considered to be socially acceptable.
I'm not quite certain what you're looking for from us.
Perhaps you should consult with your clergy.
Good luck with your planning.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 5, 2006, 9:24 PM
Post #4 of 5
(1163 views)
Re: [Dee042905] Renewing after 5 years.. :)
[In reply to]
Your last post was quite a bit different from your first post. If you just want to reaffirm or renew your vows, this is fine. But, there is etiquette involved if you want others to view this positively. Please read about vow renewal etiquette.
You can have a ceremony much like a wedding, but you are already married. So, to have bridesmaids who were not your original would create a wedding-like event. This is not be considered appropriate by most.
A vow renewal is viewed by most reputable etiquette specialists and most guests similarly to an anniversary party. So, it is important to create an event that is appropriate.
Please read about all of your other concerns in the article mentioned above. Plus, the new Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette book written by Peggy Post has just been released and is recognized as a wedding bible by many. This is a good resource. You may want to read page 219, which confirms our views.
If you don't care how others will view this and don't worry about the etiquette involved, this is your choice. But, please do not ask those who care about civility and propriety to affirm it.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 6, 2006, 7:07 AM)
Deacon Bob
INDEPENDANT CATHOLIC DEACON
Jan 6, 2006, 4:26 AM
Post #5 of 5
(1153 views)
Re: [Dee042905] Renewing after 5 years.. :)
[In reply to]
You might want to consult clergy from the local Catholic church who you want to officite this ceremony. In that your first marriage was performed by a J.P. I believe from the chuch's point of view this will be more than just a vow renewal and might require some preparation on your part. While they might not require you convert they will probably want a commitment from the Catholic spouse to raise any children Catholic. There is also the question of whether the local Priest or Deacon will officiate the wedding at the venue and not the church.
With all that being said you might be able to find independent Catholic clergy in your area who will do just what you want and allow your husband's family to have a ceremony that they are familar with. Many of the wedding web sites will list independent Catholic clergy, many of whom are former Roman Catholic Priests who left to have families. Their requirements vary. Deacon Bob Tousey
Renewing after 5 years.. :)
) They want to see us remarry in the Catholic Church. I have no problem with that as long as I do not have to convert. So if we had a Catholic ceremony that will make it more formal which is fine because that's what I always dreamed. 
