I have several questions on renewing our wedding vows.
We want to renew our vows for our 25th wedding anniversary but we have decided to do it next year for our 23rd instead because we are a little concerned about our parents being alive then. My husband's father was the best man for our wedding 23 years ago and this time we want him to officiate this ceremony to honor him. We want his mother to sing for us.
Without going into details of why and what our wedding was like the first time, it is widely known throughout the family that we should renew our vows with a real wedding ceremony. I have tried to explain to everyone that this is a renewal of vows ceremony and we are just going to have a small get together and recite our own vows to each other, but no on is listening, everyone is pushing for a wedding ceremony.
To be honest, my husband and I along with the family, are excited about finally have a big wedding but is it proper to have a wedding ceremony for a renewal vows ceremony?
It seems no one cares if we had been already married. The family says it's time to give them the wedding they've always wanted with all the trimmings. Since my entire family is behind us and pushing for us to have a grand wedding should we? If so should we have a best man, bridesmaids, etc... I know the sisters want it and our brother wants to be best man. Our three son's are wanting for us to do it more than anyone; they say we deserve to have the wedding of our dreams. Now that they are all raised, their only request is that they be in the wedding too. I know this is what my family wants and my husband and I are saying why not?? Our only reservation is doing something this grand will take away from our original wedding. I have decided to put pictures out of our wedding and have the ceremony words read in a way that everyone will know this is a renewal of vows ceremony. It is great that the family is pushing for a real wedding and we have so much support. I am affraid if we don't have this grand ceremony the whole family will be dissapointed and like I said before my husband and are saying do we dare, should we?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 18, 2005, 6:30 PM)
TWQadmin
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Aug 18, 2005, 6:36 PM
Post #2 of 6
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Re: [cbcamp5] Renewing vows for 25th anniversary
[In reply to]
Dear cb:
You and your husband are already married so I'm having difficulty understanding what it is that you want.
You certainly can have a vow renewal ceremony or a blessing of your marriage in a church (while re-creating your wedding day somewhat) but you cannot be married again without getting divorced first.
The renewal ceremony can be followed by a grand reception afterwards and you can do many of the things you would normally do at a wedding.
Please review the following page:
Vow Renewal Etiquette Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 18, 2005, 6:44 PM
Post #3 of 6
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Re: [cbcamp5] Renewing vows for 25th anniversary
[In reply to]
Dear Renewing,
The problem is that it really isn't a wedding. But, it can have many of the elements of a wedding and will probably appease your family. Typically you wouldn't wear a formal gown unless it is your wedding gown and you are using the same elements of your wedding. But, you can wear a very nice dress.
Your children should be in the ceremony and can stand with you.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Renewing vows for 25th anniversary
[In reply to]
Right,
That is what i am saying, This is NOT a wedding, but the family is wanting to turn it into everything short of a wedding. Everytime I tell them this is not a wedding, they still refer to it as one. How do I explain it to them in a way they will understand? It went from an anniversary dinner with a reciting of wedding vows to an event that resembles an actual wedding.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 18, 2005, 8:50 PM
Post #5 of 6
(5372 views)
Re: [cbcamp5] Renewing vows for 25th anniversary
[In reply to]
I understand your frustration. But, we couldn't begin to be able to know how to talk to your family. We did mention that you could suggest to your family that your vow renewal would appear similar to a wedding.
Only you can understand and talk to your family. We don't know them. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Aug 18, 2005, 9:17 PM
Post #6 of 6
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Re: [cbcamp5] Renewing vows for 25th anniversary
[In reply to]
Why are your family members even involved? Plan the ceremony and party you want, invite them, and they will be guests.
If any of them try to tell you how to plan your vow renewal just politely tell them that this is your anniversary, your party, and you and your husband have chosen to celebrate it in this fashion. If necessary, feel free to print out the page on vow renewal etiquette and gently remind your family members that this just cannot be a wedding since you're already married. Assure them you ar happy with your decision and that you're excited that they will be there to help you celebrate! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Renewing vows for 25th anniversary
