My husband and I were married in a little house we were renting at the time, with only his parents, (my mom was ill), 2 of my siblings, and his aunt. Hardly anyone knew about the wedding because we decided to just do it and get it over with. The outcome of the wedding was the only thing I liked about it. We got married. Now we are thinking of renewing our vows for our 5th anniversary and have it in a church, with all family and friends there. How do I do it? I'd like to have attendants because I never did! I'd like to wear a dress because our first was in a shirt and jeans!! I've read that it's ok to wear a dress if you want to re-create your first wedding... I don't! I don't want anything like the first! I want it to be what the first wasn't!! Everyone who has seen the pictures from our first wedding are cheering us on to do it in the way we should've taken the time to do it the first time. So since I had nothing to begin with can I have it all now?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 9, 2005, 10:17 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 14, 2005, 12:25 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1952 views)
Re: [DoingItRight] i want it all - is that ok?
[In reply to]
Dear Wants it All,
A vow renewal isn't a wedding. It can be very special and include some of the components of a wedding. But, it shouldn't mirror a wedding. This is viewed very negatively.
A wedding is a gift giving event, whereas a vow renewal is not. When a couple plans a vow renewal that appears to be a wedding, it appears as if the couple just wants to dress up and get gifts. And, we never host gift giving events for ourselves.
You may have a dress, but only one that doesn't appear to be a wedding dress. It can be very special though.
Attendants would be inappropriate in your case. You won't be inviting yours back from your wedding, because you had none. Attendants are basically witnesses and help the bride with her wedding planning. Plus, they are typically involved with planning prewedding parties. None of this applies to you. You are already married. There are no prewedding parties or wedding planning for those already married.
Planning a vow renewal must be done very carefully so as to be socially acceptable and tasteful. Please visit the many posts on this subject on this site. Plus read more about wedding vow renewalhere.
Renewing wedding vows for 5th wedding anniversary
