Thank you so much again for your assistance during my son's wedding this summer.
As a college professor, I get invited to many weddings. Twice in the last six months, I have been invited to a wedding only to find out that the couple was actually married months earlier. This was not noted on the invitation. At one of the weddings, the minister joked that this was the first time he had married the same couple in a six month period. They had gotten married early to qualify for spousal football tickets for next season! This was a large formal wedding with a seated dinner and well advertised wedding gift registry. Some of the guests were so upset that they did not attend the reception. I felt the same way, but did go.
What is the proper response for guests in this situation?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #2 of 6
(576 views)
Re: Second weddings marketed as first
[In reply to]
This is easy - just say no - decline the invitation.
I'm shocked when I hear of pastors who agree to perform these "weddings". I cant believe they aren't being counseled not to lie or to use marriage as a way to gain tickets, green card, insurance or housing.
We get a lot of "brides" on the forum who claim their guests have no problem with their already being married and then hosting a huge "wedding", complete with reception and gifts. Thank you for stepping up to show how many guests really feel.
What a shame. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
austinmother
Post #3 of 6
(571 views)
Re: Second weddings marketed as first
[In reply to]
I agree if the guests know ahead of time. The problem is when guests do not know. It's hardly fair to quiz the couple ahead of time, but, barring that, it is appropriate to decide not to attend the reception?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #4 of 6
(568 views)
Re: Second weddings marketed as first
[In reply to]
It's not appropriate to host a wedding when you're already married, whether you tell the guests or not. You can decline the invitation if you find it distasteful. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Post #5 of 6
(561 views)
Re: Second weddings marketed as first
[In reply to]
I agree, this is offensive to the guest who would feel cheated from the "real" wedding. Unfortunately, this is another demonstration of the mind set that believes it is okay to ask for money from their guests.
You can definitely decline if you know of the prior ceremony but do the best you can to participate gracefully when it is misrepresented to you. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #6 of 6
(554 views)
Re: Second weddings marketed as first
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more. And when you find out that the couple is already married, it is perfectly appropriate to leave. Perhaps we can politely state our outrage with our feet. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Second weddings marketed as first
