Hi. I have several questions regarding a vow renewal ceremony.
My husband and I plan on renewing our vows next February to celebrate our 15th anniversary. We have also had some rough patches and want to re-affirm our commitment to our marriage.
The first time, we got married by the JP with immediate family present and had lunch at a local restaurant afterwards. This time we plan on a church ceremony. We want to make this the "wedding" we didn't have the first time.
I know attendants are usually a "don't", but would it be wrong to have just one attendant each? I would love my best friend to stand with me as she was not there the first time.
Also, we have 3 daughters (ages 14, 11 & 9) whom would participate in the ceremony. Should they walk down the isle together before me or behind me? Where should they stand during the ceremony or should they stand at all?
What is appropriate regarding flowers? Bouquets or not?
Now on to the reception...I know the throwing of the bouquet and garter is a "don't" but what about the "first" dance or other wedding type traditions?
It looks as if you have done your homework. Great.
Typically, no there are no attendants unless you are recreating your first marriage. Attendants are basically witnesses. You don't need witnesses this time around. But, you could have your children walk with your best friend. These people could be incorporated into some sort of reading.
You and your husband could walk with everyone down the aisle, or my favorite is for the couple to walk in from the sides of the room toward the alter. Your friends and children could walk down the aisle and either stand with you or sit in the first row after kissing you both. This part can be 'yours'.
The one thing we are trying to avoid is making this appear as a wedding. That would imply that we are trying to create a gift giving event, which this is not.
You can have a bouquet that reflects your love for each other.
The reception (party) can be similar to a wedding reception, but there should be notable differences. Of course the father/daughter dance just doesn't seem right, huh? But, the first dance could be if it is treated as your first dance of the next period of your life--something like that.
The first dance at a wedding reception is supposed to be the first dance as a married couple. We just want to alter it a bit so there is not that inference.
The wedding cake is sometimes recreated from the original wedding. But to be honest, this should be more of an 'anniversary' type cake. So, writing on the cake would be appropriate.
Toasts are proper and expected. These, of course, would reflect upon your continued love, not on finding each other as in a wedding reception.
Thank you so much for your answers to my questions and the suggestions you offered. They are all greatly appreciated. I know this will truly be a day to remember now that I am a little less stressed!
Vow Renewal Questions
