My husband and I are planning to renew our vows in a church for our 10th anniversary. We had a formal wedding, but I was pregnant so we couldn't marry in the church. It was nice but not what we wanted our wedding to be.But it was important to my father-in-law who is no longer with us but we want to do it anyway. We had a rocky start(i was 19 he was 22) and have been close to divorce many times. We have entered a new phase and want kind of a fresh start.No one thought we would last(for awhile we didn't either)but we are stronger than ever and this is very important to us. So my question is how close to a wedding can this be. I don't want to wear my wedding dress because it is too big and not what I really wanted(i was pregnant at the time) but my husband really wants me to wear a wedding dress and the little girl in me does too. I have a platinum formal dress that I planned to wear for the party after, but would it be ok to wear a wedding dress for the church ceremony? No vail of course but maybe a little hair comb or something. Also I want to cut out the traditional dances except for our first dance is that ok? I want our boys 10 &11 at that time in the wedding and their best friends(2 girls that have been a huge part of our lives) as our wedding party, along with my original maid of honor,is that ok? Also for the reception after how big is too big? We are looking at about 100 people(30 of which are kids)is that too large? A lot is going to center around the kids(I want them to have fun) maybe a magician or something for them. Is that tacky?Alot of people weren't at the first including my father and step family and I want to everyone there that shouldve been the first time.The first time my oldest son walked me down, but I really want my brother to this time. He had a huge part in my up bringing and I want to acknowlege that, is that ok?We want a anniversary type cake and what I guess would be considered a grooms cake(it goes perfectly with our invitations) would that be ok? Are small centerpieces and a hall too much? I'm sorry for the long post but I need help! My husband of course feels like we should have whatever we want and have the wedding we wanted but didn't really have, but we both realize this is a renewal not a wedding and I an unsure of how much we can put into without going against whats proper. Thanks.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 1, 2006, 11:31 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1809 views)
Re: [mercedes717] Vow Renewal dos & donts
[In reply to]
Please review former posts in this category and use the search tool to read past posts on this subject while you wait for an expert to respond. You should review the pages of IDoTakeTwo.comwhich will probably provide you wiht all of the answers you need right there on the website. This is a holiday weekend and the height of wedding season so it could be a while before an expert can get to your question. Remember that our experts are not paid for their responses and they answer in their spare time.
Thank you for your participation. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 1, 2006, 6:07 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1801 views)
Re: [mercedes717] Vow Renewal dos & donts
[In reply to]
Dear Renewing,
It really sounds as if you are thinking of this as a wedding even though you say that you know it is a vow renewal. You said the 'first' time when referring to your wedding. Actually, that was your wedding and is entirely different from a vow renewal or a blessing of your marriage.
This should not mirror a wedding, such as being escorted down the aisle and attendants. A wedding dress? Sorry. A wedding dress is worn for weddings.
It really is best, as the Wedding Queen states, to review that article about vow renewal etiquette. This includes all of the etiquette involved.
The reason for following proper etiquette is very simple. You are inviting guests. These guests will expect some decorum on your part. If this was a private affair, no one would know or care how you celebrated. With a vow renewal mirroring a wedding, it appears as if you are creating a gift giving situation for yourself, which the vow renewal is not. So, it is very important for proper etiquette to be followed.
Your anniversary party, not reception, can be as large as you wish. You can do a 'first' dance if this is cast as the first dance of your next 10 years. See how this can be very special yet different than a wedding and reception.
Your ceremony can be even more special than the wedding because you can create elements not practiced at the wedding. You can include your children in lighting candles or joining you at the alter. All of you can promise to continue to love and cherish each other. Focus on the real reason you two are vowing continued love and involve the family. So... Please read and know that this, although not a wedding, can be personalized and very special.
Vow Renewal dos & donts
