Vow renewal: what can I recreate, and what can't I?
I have searched, and read, through all of the threads and haven't quite gotten the answer that fits what I have in mind. My husband and I have only been married a little over two years and have had some very rocky times. Through talk of divorce and marriage counselling we are starting to rebuild our relationship. Looking ahead to our five year anniversary, we would like to do a vow renewal to mark the new beginning that we are currently building (and by that time would have built and be nurturing) When mentioning this to my mom, she was horrified when I explained what type of event I had in mind. Our wedding wasn't THAT long ago, and I wanted to incorporate some of the past but add new touches. We had a church wedding, all the traditions, and a small reception (60ish people) Here's what I'm picturing: It would take place on the same day, (it falls on a Saturday again)but later in the day, the first one was in the afternoon, I'd do this as an evening event. A church ceremony (different church) wearing my old dress again(I really loved it and am fond of the connection it has to our beginning so it seemed appropriate as we begin again), having our son (he'd be 6) and daughter (she'd be 3) in some kind of entering role, and same rings (but getting them engraved this time which we didn't do the first time). I'd like to have attendants again-same ones (different dresses and colors), and a reception to follow. The reception at the same place, (the food is the best I've ever had and the ambiance is perfect) but different cake. We'd have dancing and I'd have a photographer again. I'd also like to have a blend of our old favors (we had chocolate covered strawberries) and something new. I don't want any gifts, no pre-event parties,and I am not looking to "re-create" the wedding. It's just that there were some things that I absolutely loved and want to be incorporated once again. I am a very sentimental person and to me the incorporation of the pieces of the original wedding blended with some new aspects means a lot to me as we celebrate a new outlook on our life together. Please help! I don't want to break any etiquette, but we've had BAD times, and I want to really celebrate this new beginning in a BIG way! Thanks!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 14, 2005, 9:53 AM
Post #2 of 2
(1245 views)
Re: [bstiner] Vow renewal: what can I recreate, and what can't I?
[In reply to]
Dear Recreate,
Actually what you are proposing is fine. You are including your children, so it should appear as if it is a vow renewal. The attendants should wear their same dresses or more like street dresses. If they wear new bridesmaids dresses, it may appear as more of a wedding. But, who would really remember what type of dress they wore?
One thing that you can do to ensure that your guests know that you are simply incorporating elements of your wedding and not trying to create a second wedding, would be to write all of this down in a program that tells the entire story as you have here. Let your guests know that you are wearing your original gown, you invited your same attendants, and you are recommiting yourselves to each other. And, make sure that your clergy person informs the guests that you are reaffirming your commitment.
You may also write on your invitations, 'please no gifts' because this is not a wedding. This is viewed as more of an anniversary party, so we can guide our guests in this manner.
Vow renewal: what can I recreate, and what can't I?
