When my husband and I married in 2000, everything went wrong, my mother got drunk and embarrassed us, we had a last minute wedding because of 2 things, one of us ended up in jail, and then there was a fight, when we had the reception only a 1/4 of the people showed because a rumor started that we moved and broke up. So why is it wrong that we can not celebrate our love they way we wanted to the first time with the flair that we wanted and dreamt of? As I read a few other posts I get the whole etiquette thing, but I feel that in certain circumstances that giving the vow renewal what the "actual" wedding didn't have is not so much a bad thing just as long as people are made aware the the event is formal or casual, and because some of our family is tight knit they will know it was because of the past events that led us to redo the wedding the right way, ONLY that it is reaffirming of our love for each other.
(This post was
edited by badmom00 on May 27, 2009, 12:32 AM)
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Post #2 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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As we've posted in the past, you can't repeat a wedding since you're already married. There are many ceremonies and celebrations you can have. though. Please read our many posts on the subject.
We all have regrets we have to live with. I hope you two are happily married and can focus on that success. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
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Post #3 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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I completely agree. And, focus on your own words here: "redo the wedding the right way". There is no way to do that. Your wedding took place and there is no way to take it back and put another in its place.
Even though the vow renewal can take place any time, it is best to host it on a bench mark anniversary (over 10 years with over 20 even better). It is in better taste. And, it never appears to be a wedding. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
badmom00
Post #4 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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We have been married for 9 and planning it for our 10th and on the exact date, at that point we will have known each other for 20 1/2 years, and all the people we have talked to all agreed that we are doing it the right way, Oh but wait we live in Wisconsin, we live by different rules sorry to have wasted your time.
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Post #5 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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I don't think everyone who lives in Wisconsin live by the rules you seem to live by. And, there aren't separate manners for people in certain states. Plus, you have no idea where any of us live or where any of us were raised.
Perhaps if you followed some etiquette there wouldn't have been the embarrassment, jail and all of the other incidents that transpired and ruined your day? Maybe the guests who failed to come knew how it would all go? After all, manners are in place for some pretty good reasons. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
badmom00
Post #6 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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well i can think of one thing you need to do, stop reading into things you have no clue about as well, and i beg to differ with you My husband and I are very happy and even the the people whom I have spoken to here have said the same thing I am doing the right thing and you should stop being so condescending.
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Post #7 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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And yet, I wasn't asking for YOUR advice. If you ask for advice, you should be prepared to receive it. If you don't care for the advice then just move on. If you're just looking to be validated, you've come to wrong place.
I'm sure your friends, a long as they have manners and care about others' feelings, would never tell you that you're being rude. We've heard this from so many guests...
And, just because a few of your friends have said that they think what you're doing is terrific, doesn't make it so. I assume, since you came to this website with questions, you weren't sure about how to proceed.
I wish you luck and am glad to hear the two of you are happy together. make that your focus and forget about dresses, gifts and cake. That's not what makes a marriage. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
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Post #8 of 8
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Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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I couldn't agree more! And, I receive many emails from those in Wisconsin. The people there, just as in any other state, seem to be quite well-mannered to me. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
We had a horrible first wedding.
As I read a few other posts I get the whole etiquette thing, but I feel that in certain circumstances that giving the vow renewal what the "actual" wedding didn't have is not so much a bad thing just as long as people are made aware the the event is formal or casual, and because some of our family is tight knit they will know it was because of the past events that led us to redo the wedding the right way, ONLY that it is reaffirming of our love for each other. 
Re: We had a horrible first wedding.
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