Many of your posts about how one "should or should not" have a vow renewal seem entirely old-fashioned. If you have attendants, a cake, and your father walking you down the aisle, you will not be scrutinized by your guests. Do whatever you want and have fun with it! If a couple wants to have a large renewal ceremony much like a wedding, then they can do it! Not everyone thinks that it is inappropriate. We are in the year 2009, not 1909.
I personally had a small wedding ceremony before my husband was deployed and a large vow renewal and reception afterward. I used many "traditional wedding elements" in the vow renewal and have no regrets. It was phenomenal and perfect!
This is your opinion, and you're entitled to it, but not on our forum. When visitors come to our site, they are asking for etiquette advice, not opinions. And, even in this modern time, hosting a wedding for a couple who is already married isn't well received and, in fact, doesn't make sense. You can call it a vow renewal, or any other name, but with attendants, father walking the daughter down the aisle, etc., it appears as a wedding, which is a gift giving event. Vow renewals and the like are not gift giving events.
We have many posts on why this isn't appropriate so, to future posters, be sure to read them. Most guests, family and friends will be hesitant to let you know what they really think, but, if you read on our forum, you'll see how many guests post how they feel about couples hosting a wedding when they are already married.
A better way to handle your situation is to host a wedding reception, as long as the event takes place within one year of the actual wedding ceremony.
So, again, this is your opinion, but our website is not opinion driven. We don't make this stuff up. It can be read in any modern day etiquette book and most experts on etiquette agree on the proper way to host a vow renewal, and that is usually after some period of time. You can read tons of blogs and forums online where people approve, disapprove and exchange their opinions. Our site isn't that sort of venue.
I do wish you a lifetime of marital bliss and thank you and your husband for the sacrifices you have made for our freedom/county. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I couldn't agree more. We are living in a great time, but most of us still use good judgement when we host events and most of us don't host pretend events in honor of ourselves.
With so many "celebrities" hosting these pretend weddings, it may appear as if this behavior is acceptable, but it is not. Most socially savvy people find it strange, odd, and a bit self indulgent. A well-known celeb hosted multiple, very public wedding ceremonies a couple of years ago and she and her, soon to be ex, were very publicly ridiculed. So, although it appears that your event was a success, pretend weddings are still viewed negatively.
And, no one really hosted vow renewals for themselves in 1909. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
What year are we living in?
